Bangkok, 14 febr. 2012.
I feel a bit like a castoff in this excistence, always having considered life itself a major pain in the proverbial ass, my house nearly devoid of furniture, my biggest indulgence these last five or six years or so, an aquarium, some sort of sorry attempt to bring bring other living creatures into my home and life...
Hardly any photographs of relatives or the children I produced, the seed of my loins another major hassle to my daily affairs, loads of failed love affairs nothing to brag about...most of these ladies having thrown themselves into another relationship, married hastily, another daughter who I have hardly seen since her baby years...
As a parent I never practiced birth control!!!
Sitting here with Joy, drinking Kloster cold to the touch, being back in the Land Of The Thais, dreaming about my failed excistence but keeping my face straight and listening to her the stories of her happy life, no Farang tears here remembering the past, it all comes back, Somtam spicy and hot, Khao Pat Kung down my throat and drinking out in the street, some small little Soi off Thanon Si Lom while being surrounded by locals and another outcome of my sexual lust but never a real parent, consciously banning the smile and female giggles of yet another little spermatoide from my Phii and mind...
Memories a-plenty but always having shunned from my responsibilities, not even wanting to answer the phone when I see it is Paddie's number, always having run from friendship and intimate feelings of love and family...
Nongshao back home telling me about the sad state of health and mental consciousness Dad is in, not having seen Him for over twenty years nor wishing too any time soon...it is the way I am!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment