Thursday, March 29, 2012

Cor Toh Khap, Phom Phuen

Pattaya, 29 March 2012.

Though In the land of Siam the locals might retain a tolerant and non-judgemental attitute to the adults only game, still bonging someone else's wife is just as much out of order as in any strickt Muslim oriented dictatorship governed state...

Though the act of sex is always bubbling beneath the surface of human adult contact in this easy go happy asian kingdom, sex crimes like a Crime Pasionel is more like the order of the day as non-existent in this Happy Face Land of Lord Buddha...lose of face not to be taken lightly in King Bhumipol's Asian nation!!!

I realise the predicament I might be in late at night when I see the New Star handiman sitting on a motorbike outside - if you did you read my last blog entry, never published it ob FB fearing it might get me blocked for too much juicy detail but feel free to send me a private MS and I will return my blogger.com site where you can glorify in your most sexual fantasies, then surely you understand the jealousy plaqing his Thai mind, if you didn't read my latest blog story let it suffice to say I bonged his lady earlier in the morning - playing Mister Cool, something the Thais are masters of but obviously here off working hours to make sure his wife is not secretly returning to my room while he is supposed to be in the local pool hall boozing on Thai moonshine whisky while wife number one, or maybe his Miss Miranoi - one can never be sure of that being a Farang - is getting her adolescent sized pussy filled with whittish Farang semen for a second time today...

Cor Toh Khap, Phom Phuen but she never did tell me she was married, if she really ever was at all...maybe Mister New Star Handiman is just fancying her and trying to scare off the Farang competition hopefully unaware of that early morning ejaculation of mine, apart from the fact that in Thailand a word can have many meanings with the Thais a Double-Entendre really is a double meaning after all...lets hope it will stay that way...

Or else I might experiment a serious cross cultural communications breakdown here, the handicuff type of way I you get my drift!!!   

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A horny Mhe Baan lady and a jealous husband.

Pattaya, 28 March 2012.

I am busy conducting my personal type of Cunnilingal Opus, orally performing on her libidous clitorus, preparing this semi drunk on Lao Khao Mhe Baan lady for entry in her moist and most intimate bodily part, making sure she will clean the New Star rooms happily and with my whittish seminal fluids dripping into her panties....

Thrusting my Penis Erectus inside her adolescent proportioned private female part while matrubating her anal passage with love juice covered strong male fingers...

Eventually cumming with the firepower of that ballistic rocket North Corea is about the send into the upper layers of the admosphere and has the good old US of A all so hyped up about. Not that my early morning visitor is thinking about North Corean rockets here or worrying about world politics for that matter, all she wanted was good sex before having to do her Mhe Baan room cleaning work, have my Farang Coy shooting her little pee pee organ full with my Farang semen, might as well she is hoping for a Leuk Krueg baby here, after all these Thai ladies all fancy a farang induced baby, whiter than white semen producing nicely whittish colored little babies...

She is hardly out of the room and preparing for her New Star cleaning duties, with me rolling over and looking forward for another couple of well deserved sleep, when another Knock, Knock, Knock is heard on my door, definitely not the knocking of female knuckles, years of experience have thaught me the difference here... this sounds like the knocking of an enflamed, and maybe estranged husband, the sort of hubby that has little horns growing out of his head...the New Star handyman telling me in a pissed off voice to keep my hands of his wife...

Shit three times in a row, nobody ever told me that this lady was married, not when she secretly handed me her cell phone number the other day down in the lobby, not when I spoiled her with cheap chocolates from the Family Mart most of weeks I have been staying here, privately hoping that my chocolate presents would eventually pay off, the way they did only mere moments ago...I keep a cool face knowing damned well how dangerous a Thai husband with cow horns on his head can be, telling him I send his wife Pa, Pa, out you go sort of thing, enough Hot Mommas on the boulevard to satisfy the even horniest of horniest Farang sex tourist with 1000 grammes of Cialis down his drunk throat...

Feel a bit like my Siam sojourn is in peril of becoming a cathartic experience though!!!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

A greasy woman with Lao Khao breath

Pattaya, 25 March 2012.

I have come to believe that Thai culture being invaded by hordes of semi-drunk h*rny male Farangs on a serious quest for Siam bimbos is a lateral view of things, lethal to the Farang's wallet in any case, but then sexual financial politics is the game Thai Hot Mommas play and that with typical female doggedness and determination!!!

With Noi sleeping all day in my room, her duties as a professional nocturnal Mhe Baan at the Pattaya Festival department store having taken the better of her waking hours during the day, I spend the better part of the day's sun letting the endless narative inside my skull do its thing....

Maybe a session of the more intimate nature with miss Daow during the evening, participating in her sisters' "Khyber Pass" specialty not really my cup of tea but her professional nocturnal activities apparently have gone down the proverbial drain with the departure of most of these aforementioned semi-drunk Farang males...or so she tells me anyway, but then I did mention the financial politics these ladies of the night are masters of...

Maybe that other Miss Daow arriving on the scene, that is the Bench Of Drunk MILFs, could be another willing nocturnal partner of the more intimate nature though her collection of greasy plastic shopping bags full to overflow with empty bottles for deposit cash, as well as her face looking like it has been hacked out of concrete, suggest that her working days as a Hot momma have been long since finished, her breath betraying copious amounts of Lao Khao having gone down her throat tonight while she desperately tries to french kiss me...still somehow despite the ragged smelly clothes and her MILF status I suspect if I did take her home, dragged her out of her unwashed garments I might find a great looking bimbo body, albeit underneath a layer of accumulated dirt that is....

Better I buy her a bottle of Siamsato and hurry home alone!!!  

Friday, March 23, 2012

Ein Dreier

Pattaya, 23 March 2012.

Men control the world but it are women who arrange human society...that is reality however disillusional it might seem...

I realize I am once more in uncharted Oriental dire straits being back on the bench of drunk Milfs trying hard, as always, to unravel the complexities of the female Thai mind - it is costing me enormous quantities of THB on free Siamsato for the ladies but whatever - going into areas of femininity that my intellect can not even begin to comprehend...I should seriously stop to get personally involved with these ladies who are well past their prime, at least as far as the Thais see it, it is a dangerous and needless pastime I can ill afford, like I said way too much free Siamsato supplied by my not so fat wallet anymore..the Seven/11 across busy Beach Road doing good business but me losing out big time here!!!

The two rowdy and already in the heaven of King Alcohol Germans I took along tonight, are less interested in the mental intricacies of Pattaya Hot Mommas of the more advanced age but let their pheromones do the talking....

The "Khyber Pass" speciality of these women got them into German overdrive when I told them about it, "Ein Dreier Ist Wass Wir Wollen" they told me before we set out down Soi Sip-ett with German expectancy going sky high...

My Bratwurst mates leave the introductions to me but also the Siamsato paying duties which seems a tiny Nit Noi bit unfair but I have no worries or regrets seeing Miss Mieo - aka Miss sandwich - appear, she is on the prowl, maybe a purple colored Thai banknote so much needed for her crazy obsession with these mind enhancing Ya Ba  pills and I guess My sauerkraut buddies deserve this nutty as a fruitcake Maedchen Fuer Ihr Dreier...  

Thursday, March 22, 2012

A different type of female

Pattaya, 22 March 2012.

I guess there will be no return to the Bench Of Drunk Milfs for me tonight, not with Miss Noi Waiing Papa Emiel politely, even courtesying him but probably secretly hoping our biweekly evening games of chess in front of the New Star will be over soon...I have a strong suspicion what is on her female mind for tonight, her one and only day off from her six twelve hours a night weekly shifts of Mhe Baan cleaning work at the Pattaya Festival...well, who can blame her female predatory drive for healthy sexual intercourse on her one day a week off???

With social security pretty much exempt from Thai society, unless of course, when you are a  high ranking Thai politician, police general or belong to the ruling military, in which case the Western concept of being on waiting money has been carefully copied, commercial sex is a normal enough way of making your daily cup of rice, though for my Mau lady friends on the aforementioned bench - it is located in front of the Seven/11 opposite Soi Sip-ett in case it has your fancy to experience the Trade the Khyber Pas way - the money goes to Siamsato, especially so when there is no Chai Dee Farang around like me paying these twenty-five THB bottles of liquid poison for them.

I just have to retain a tolerant and non-judgemental attitude to their profession and enjoy the merry making surrounded by drunk Hot Mommas, Pas De Problem Pour Pauvre Moi I would say...

But no, tonight my male duties are required elsewhere, another type of female who has another type of job but is equally interested in the intimate nature of my being, though not in the contends of my well stuffed wallet!!!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Bench Of Drunk Milfs

Pattaya, 23 March 2012.

Western thinking versus the Asian way of pondering the difficulties and little pleasures of life, Sanuk for today and to hell and beyond as far as tomorrow is concerned, discovering and understanding Asian philosophies, especially the Thai version of it, is pretty much near impossible for a humble Farang male like me...I have been coming to the Orient long enough to know that it is not possible to know the Orient well enough. the very concept of trying to comprehend the oriental thinking patterns is a cultural and professional misdemeanour!!!

Maybe better I do like all these other smelly, big nosed Farang males do, let my testosterone driven sex drive rule my day to day affairs, be glad to be away from the dreaded cold Dutch winter, instead of being locked up in my tedious, dull apartment where the phone never rings, living in a city that is taken over by drug dealing, street violence by ungrateful offspring of hard working immigrants, unemployment and general despair by the elderly on a shopping spree at the local supermarket only fifty or so meters from their front perch but blocked by pickpocketing hoodlums with the double nationality...basic thinking among our political elite is a thing of the past in my native land...

No, then living in the east where my money goes farther, where food and climate and general surroundings are better qualified to my spoiled tastes...

Back to the formerly Dutch bench that might nowadays be better nicked The Bench Of Drunk Milfs, Hot Mommas who specialize in the Khyber Pass trade, a sexual activity of a different way than the conventional - apparently it originates from the Cockney slang used in London - and might well have something to do with the enormous quantities of Siamsato these ladies consume...I try hard to turn Nelson's blind eye to it though their speciality is spreading fast among the Farang punters still in business here in sin city Pattaya....   

Monday, March 19, 2012

The airline stewardess

Pattaya, 19 March 2012.

I seriously wonder whether or not my blog stories are suitable to the double gender part of this world, is it conceivable that they are male chauvinistic reading material for Siam punters and therefore female unfriendly it their very nature, a raw narrative that caters mostly to male hetrosexual johns in Southeast Asia...or maybe I am an author, or shall we call it a blogger?, who wants to give an insight in a way of life that in its very nature, is really private...if the latter is the case then Pas De Problem because that is partly at least what blogging is all about...

I find myself back on the notorious Pattaya boulevard, at the notorious after midnight hour, at the notorious Dutch Bench, well ex Dutch Bench after Madame Stoeptegel knocked the whole Dutch expatriate population frequenting this bench to her personal version of kingdom come using her feared pavement stone, hench her nick Madame Stoeptegel...

At least I am in the charming company of a different type of Siam Female though judging from the way she fast drinks Siamsato, I would say her thirst for alcohol can sure rival that of the aforementioned volatile Madame Stoeptegel...

A raven haired young lady claiming to be an air stewardess for Royal Thai Airways but in Pattaya to get a picked up by a handsome Farang man like me, having just come from the Insomnia Disco in Soi Walking Street but with no luck in the Get Picked Up department - I find that hard to believe but why not seize the opportunity, maybe pay her another big bottle of Saimsato, small investment at only 25 THB a bottle...you know what they say about drunk women in bed, right? well, that would be an understatement of sort in the Land Of Smiles, believe me!!!

Maybe she is not encased in one of those sexy tight spanning silk Royal Thai Air stewardess uniforms, instead she wears the usual cut-off denim shorts and a sweaty white t-shirt that screams I Like Chang up into my face, but what the heck, right?

Maybe she looks a bit rough around the edges, but what the heck, this is the Kingdom of King Bhumipol where nothing is what is seems, rules are adaptable to change, preferences even more so, the country where drunk women at this advanced hour are the rule rather than the exception...Soooooooo? I hear you think but no all the rest gets to the privacy chamber....

Saturday, March 17, 2012

The King Of Errorism

Pattaya, 17 March 2012.

I am trying hard to comprehend the reality of my being, my very existence here in sin city Pattaya...but then the very word "reality" is hard to define to begin with, just a mental construct of my own doing, an inadequate vehicle to self consciousness...trying to clarify reality probably confounds the confusion and most likely will bring about the opposite of what I am trying so desperately to reach, multiplying the illusions inside my Farang skull...

I should probably be careful with the very drag my words really are, debasing the queen's English in the process of writing my fucked-up blog stories, all of my genuine followers falling over their proverbial feet wanting to hang me from the nearest streetlight pole, stretch my neck like that of a certain fallen dictator by the name of Saddam Houssein in Iraq, for the multible spelling errors and grammatical mistakes in the aforementioned Geschichte - that is stories in the Sauerkraut and Bratwurst lingo, you know -.

Maybe paint that streetlight pole brightly gold, place it right there on the Pattaya boulevard, my number one hang out place, with my rotting corpse picked at by the dignitaries of Lord Error himself, black raven and assorted carrion eaters, let my stupid bones bleach in the harsh Thai sun and all revel in the death of the King of Errorism, the Emperor of Spelling Mistakes, the Sultan of the Grammatical Incorrect...

Hail to Good Old Stevie and Dana the Righteous, all of you unwise and ametueristic idiots go down on your bloody knees and pay respect to the greatest authors of our time, forget their arrogance, they deserve to be cocky about their holier than God talent...HAIL,HAIL,HAIL!!!  

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Phom Yuu Thii Nai?

Pattaya, 14 March 2012.

I feel a bit like an alien anthropologist constantly on the move for new observations of the Thai way of life which in itself is pretty much impossible to comprehend for a humble stupid Farang like me...

I spend my time associating with people who tell me they are Jai dee, pure of heart, never mind they are in reality Hot Mommas who pester me for my room key, sleep in the day and drink themselves comatose on Siamsato all night, waiting for Farang idiots to either pay them more free Siamsato like me, or drag them home for the infamous but not so funny, but highly physically satisfactory - if you are lucky - Nong, Song, Saam Daeng though a purple one is of course more welcome - those not yet familiar with my chaotic blog stories should now leave this site, or remain quiet forever as all my other followers do.

My morality is in a serious regressive mode depite my continual efforts to hang around those so-called Pure Of Heart, it does not rub off on me but degerates my ethics even more, my moral development going downhill very fast...this is most definitely a harbinger of disasters yet to come...maybe my 50.000 THB 50 Kilogram TV will be carried down the stairs by a 40 KG lady of the night while I am busy boozing myself semi-comatose late at night on the beach surrounded by the female likewise....goodbye and Adios to the money I need for the return flight!!!

I am slowly getting old which is the source of humanity and in my case probably means I am getting less careful, so, yes, disaster is guaranteed, the necessary skills of being on my Qui Vive being driven from the more accessible regions of my mind, all the way down to the inner recesses of the so-called Medulla Oblongata, never to be retrieved again...

Endless rows of empty bottles of Chang, Leo and Siamsato being taken from my room every second day by the Mhe Baan ladies for deposit purposes, leaving my brain cells Nit Noi More useless with every passing Day...I stand incontinent to the pelotons of Hot Mommas who demand place to sleep, free Siamsato and Chang or Leo, a couple of hours of free telly time and a cold shower - no hot water available in my room on purpose -, an onrushing traffic of femininity passing through the door of my New Star guest house, making me wonder Phom Yuu Thii Nai? Where am I?  

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The extinction of the mammoth

Pattaya, 13 March 2012.

The extinction of the mammoth is slowly becoming clear to me sitting here in the New Star guest house's lobby, knocking down free Glenfiddich whisky and enjoying fried chicken, Somtam salad, the table full to overflow with assorted alcoholic beverages and typical Thai food, Bill's birthday party in full swing, Souk Sam San Gerth, happy birthday to you fat English truck driver, presently presinding in sin city's number one hospitable guest house and most tranquil Soi, Las Damas De Recepcion screaming in excitement and providing free entertainment, photographed dress down to underwear session that would otherwise cost me 75 THB a drink in one of pattaya's fabled Go Go bars down in Walking Street...

Yeah, that unknown cavewoman who first came to that notoriously bright idea - notorious among the erstwhile mamoth population anyway - to exchange sex for a spare part of this behemoth's fried flesh, being responsible for a mad chace of this poor prehistoric giant, and eventually its extinction, cavemen dressed in animal skins all going honker-bonker for that enormous long nosed caveman's version of dough, big Dinero for a couple of minutes of good sex , goodbye to yet another prehistoric animal, the wooly rhino was next on the prefered menu of the feared cavewoman - feared by prehistoric animals anyway, desired by the human hunter though....

Enlightenment of a higher but long since past is hitting me while I watch the striptease of New Star Recepcionistas and the beaming smile of the Mister Birthday Pig, willingly taking out massive amounts of Red colored one hundert THB notes from the pockets of sweaty shorts, his beaming smile affectionous but not the number of notes disappearing in slender female Thai hands...

Maybe I should add a few bags of ice cubes, maybe another coulpe of Alu cans of coke though I fail to see why the Thai like to destroy the exquisite taste of Glenfiddich whisky by adding coke and energy drinks, but then thanks to 62 year old Bill, as off today, I have come to a higher enlightenment on the issue of the "Trade"...a couple of can of coke are therefore well in order here!!!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Miss Mieo's sorry excistence.

Pattaya, 10 March 2012.

Her fingers point at aerial substances that have no real content, telling me through a maze of salty tears, "that boy friend me, look there, another boy friend me, and see one more over there", more greasy fingers pointing at clear warm not so early morning air, drumming the Bodi tree, kicking with bruised knee caps, her T-shirts drenched with clammy sweat...she is on a bad Ya Ba trip here, probably has been all night...

Eight long years I have known this petite young dark skinned lady, all the way back since I first moved into the New Star guest house where she was staying too at the time, Soi 11, the guest house's location her personal hunting ground for h*rny Farangs, her Ya Ba dealer waiting inside the lobby for the Nong, Song, Saam Deang in exchange for another little treasured pill, and yet another, maybe a sandwich job with daddy and son Norway for a purple - the purple five hundert THB banknote you know - or yet again with the two Iranian blokes, go up the stairs to the Mad Belgium for free whisky and yet more little chemically altering mind enhancers...the dealer already waiting downstairs, a bottle of Chang into the bargain for him....

Nowadays poor Miss Mieo has lost her mind completely, her life a mess, her petite still beautiful body has been barebacked more time as she can remember and screams bloddy murder for the PILL...a whole peloton of fat wallet Farangs happy to provide, depraved and nutty for decadence, Droog Anal as the Mad Belgium used to call it last year...female gray braincells destroyed by countless smoking sessions...

She runs up and down the Soi, still her personal hunting ground, screaming her head off with non comprehensible nonsense, boozing on Siamsato and Chang, sweating like a pig, the only living being in her low esteemed life less than her's is Papa Emiel's Mha, so a good high heeled kick in the canine rib case her only pleasure...Papa Emiel angry and Crazy Mieo Pas De Comprehension, it is just a dog after all...

Maybe next year when I come back Las Receptionistas will inform me of yet one more dead Hot Momma, another victim of the "Trade", another lost life that fell victim to sin city Pattaya...forgotten by most but never by me.     

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Jan De Huigelaar

Pattaya, 08 March 2012.

I don't shun censorship or unfair modesty writing my blog stories, totally convinced of the conviction of my actions and words, however much a drag they might be...

But listening to Jan De huigelaar does my Farang head in, condemning that unknown cavewoman's bright idea of sex in exchange for that extra piece of mamoth meat, and all that has come with it, generations of women hitting on the same idea and therefore should considered vile and unclean...vehement speeches based on a christian and biblican background while his thirty year younger Tilac is massaging his beefy shoulders...

Does the man really think she is in love with him, more like his fat wallet is the main attraction in her female interests...

The sacred sanctum sanctorum of the Holy Matrimony is another hot topic of his nightly hotly uttered convictions though I doubt very seriously he will ever take her home and live up to his Pagwan post-cloital promises...

Lets leave Jan De Huigelaar to his own dream world of moral and ethics...Jan who is totally unaware of the nick his old Dutch and Belgian conversation partners have given him already years back when he first showed up in sin city Pattaya...

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Miss Wai and her sorry existence

Pattaya, 06 Febr. 2012.

Rays of the early morning sun are penetrating the cracks in my New Star room curtain, stupid drunk exclamations outside betray me that the bunch of Norwegian alcoholics are still knocking down cheap cans of Leo beer in front of my guest house as they have been doing all day already, when I wake up to the persistent knocking on my door...I have plenty of experience discerning the female knuckles responsible for disturbing my well deserved sleep...not even wanna think about the staggering number of ladies all over the place paying me mid night visits, mostly in various states of intoxication...

The Gods of mankind's imagination having refused salvation and a room to Mau to the max Hot Mommas, the powers of darkness strongly enveloping them into its folds while they booze on Siam whisky, moonshine brews of high alcohol content or plain ans simple good old cheap kinds of Ceveza, half the world asleep while they other half is busy drinking themselves comatose...in the case of these Hot Mommas whose existence is obscured from the Gods who are oblivious to the evil consuming them, have no regard for their paralsying fears of empty wallets and Pas De Clientele, no h*rny Farang overweight males at seven o'clock in the morning who have conveniently forgotten to sign their monthly alimony checks and are on a quest of alternatively getting rid of the money...

Mss Wai is three quarters to the way of His heavenly Kingdom, nine big bottles of Siam whisky responsible for her mis night visit, kicking off her newly bought 159 THB platform shoes - didn't she leave the old ones in my dustbin during her latest Besuch? -

Despite her sorry state of Milf life she still has the unutterable scream for life making me wonder what it is in the human make-up that makes us prefer life over death, even a miserable Vida more wanted than the unknown uncertainty of the afterlife...

Right now, though, Miss Wai is totally unaware of my endless train of thoughts, collapsing on the bed fully clothed, no shower before the horizontal position is taken though the bodily smells emanating from her female body permaet my nostrils...

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Women's lib coming at a price

Pattaya., 03 Febr. 2012.

Office dicks turned King Pricks in Pattaya are in reality reall Western oppressed men fleeing the horrors of librated Western, mostly, overweight and frigid females whose overindulged life styles inspired by alimony monthly payments, too lazy to serve the promised rights and duties of the Sacred Matrimony but still screaming bloody murder at the sexual exploits of their erstwhile husbands on foreign soil...

Western Farang men who have discovered the favours of cheap Asian goddesses, indulcing in the acts of bareback riding local nubile sex machines at deflated prices, slowly starting to forget to sign the monthly paychecks to their former "better" halves, an extra beer and Nong, Song, Saam Daeng much more attractive as supporting an ex wife back home in chilly Europe...

Maybe another small physical adventure in some obscure apartment complex in Naklua, where spacious rooms are shared by sleeping time and rolled up thin matrasses, maybe four thousand a month shared by the number of platform shoes parked in front of the door...racks of lingerie outside drying from hand washed laundry duties...

Go Go bars and bar beers on the beach more pleasurable as the nagging ex wife trying hard to make contact, her overindulged life style in serious peril of collapsing...no more alimony in the bank...

Small wonder they scream bloody murder, fully agreeing with the mainstream media's point of view on the Asian "Trade"...women's lib finally coming at a price!!!