Monday, April 27, 2009

an unexpected e-mail from Beijing


Things are getting better and better for me, two hot to trot ladies constantly on my mobile and an unexpected e-mail from Letitia the Chinese lady I met in Hat Lamai last winter informing me she wants to "immigrate" to Europe. I`ll quite happily help her to immigrate, right into my house and my bedroom....hehehe. But all stupid male jokes aside...I did really like here and can`t wait to see her again.

Antonia, the Aruban lady I met in a bar downtown a few weeks ago, would be a poor substitute in comparison with this Chinese beauty.

Gerry, the Indonesian lady who keeps phoning, always in the mood for an evening of hot and steamy sex and accepts my no relationship attitude - just plain old sex y nada mas - maybe a better partner in the bed but nowhere near Letitia`s standards as far as my deeper feelings for this Chinese beauty go.

Back to Antonia who I met in a bar and made her sexual needs no secret from the beginning telling me that oral sex really gets her off, "when a man gives me oral sex I`ll do anything for him even anal sex"....feeling too drunk on Red Wine I gave her my phone number telling her "I am hung like a horse but due to alcohol related problems it is a horse in retirement".

My phone was ringing when I got home at 03.30 h. in the morning and again at 09.00 h. asking me if we could have a date at her place at 15.00 h. telling me once again how much she loves oral sex and how she would even go for anal sex when the male tongue does its job with satisfaction.

She received me in a big old house that had been beautifully decorated, everything breathing an air of femininity, stark naked she was telling me to take off her clothes giving me a cold can of Heineken and informing me she still had to do some washing....Haaaa, I fucked every way possible on her bed, a huge mirror looking down on us from the ceiling while she kept sniffing speed telling me that the speed would relax her enough for anal intercourse.

I must have done a good job because ever since our little sexual adventure in her house she keeps phoning me fgor more of the aforementioned action.

Gerry has had the hots for me since we first met, still living with her folks then, a young petite lady with a bit of a harsh face but a huge sexual appetite that I satisfied many times already. She phones me at the most impossible hours wanting to be with me, wanting sex basically knowing fully well a steady realationship is the last thing on my mind.

I presume I`ll have to give up this life style if Miss China really does come to Europe, food for thought I presume.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

A sunny early spring in Amsterdam


Hard to believe how good the weather has been these last few weeks allowing me to go to the Anne Frank House nearly every day of the week, selling my Indian Games and making money for my next trip to King Bhumipol`s Kingdom. 150 games I have already sold and the season still has got to start!!!

I report pickpockets to the police and get a compliment frrom the neighborhood`s cop, talk with the Anne Frank`s security people about down and out polish beggars while watching them eat a half finished hamburger from the dustbin. No doubt these characters are actually coffee shop tourists sleeping somewhere out under the star filled heaven in a city park...a few days later I see them in the Schakel enjoying a free coffee.

Even my volunteer job at the Kinderboerderij is fun and easy these last few weeks with Magriet the meddlesome and dominant mananger out of the way and me in charge,. I even get NiƱo the Shetland pony out in the field after feeding.

Getting laid when I go downtown late at night looking to chat up tourist backpack ladies from an whole assortment of countries.

Monday, April 13, 2009

A letter to Ozzie Land

A letter two Robert and Christopher, two gay guys I met on the train from Penang to Bangkok last month in Asia.

Hey Robert.

Presume you keep yourself informed on all the shit presently going on in this so-called Land of thge Smile - not much smiling at the moment if I can judge from the pics I see on mt telly.

Hey tell me pls what the heck was Christopher doing in a room with two naked Lao ladies, excuse me but that is MY department, I am the straight guy, remember??? No wonder he got his passport stolen, the bloke just can`t handle naked ladies, Lao and all that!!!

You really should stay out of situations like that or else at least leave your valuables at the hotel`s safe, not that the hotel`s safe is always safe though I have to admit,.

Sorry, I seem to be having a bit of fun on your behalf guys, but in the end it is still the truth, don`t underestimate Asian ladies...they can be big fun to be with butalso a major pain in the proverbial ass!!! You fall in the hands of a professional prostitute and you can consider yourself done for without being even aware of it!!!

I remember a situation in Krung Thep`s Chinese district running down the street at 04.00 h. in the morning, a knife protruding from my left arm and a crazy drunk and all that Thai Hot Momma in hot presuit brandishing a second knife in one hand and a bottle of Mekhong whiskey in the other whioch she planned the smash over my farang head.

Not a pleasant experience I can assure you - I still have the knife from my arm here in my house by the way..

Still I`m glad to hear it all came together sort of okay with you guys back in Ozzie Land despite the torrential rain. I seem to remember hearing about it on the news and realising that was in your heck of the woods.

Hope you like my blog stories, I presume you are findfing out things about me you didn`t realise.....hehehehe.

Let me know okay and take care.

Hans from Amsterdam.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Goodbye Sonja.


Last year on the second christmas day morning Bert - Sonja`s boyfriend - woke up to her inert body, a soft but weird sounding snoring filling the still quiet early morning.

Whatever Bert tried he just didn`t seem to be able to wake Sonja up so in the end he phoned 112 - the Dutch emergency number where, after listening to his story, the telephonist lady asked him to take the phone to the bedroom so she could hear the snoring.

Despite the rushed removal by trauma helicopter to the nearest hospital, nothing could be done for poor Sonja, cerebral haemorrhaging had already done its destructive work on her brain cells.

Even if she would ever wake up again it would be as a vegetable!!!

With life support equipment stopped poor Sonja woke up in another Kingdom that us, mortal beings, know very little about as long as we are alife.

Sonja died the day after X-mas 2008 at 42 years of age, her Smallest Gallery just around the corner from the Anne Frank House sold a few days later.

Goodbye Sonja.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

A Mekhong River full of cheap alcohol


Back a full three weeks now, back from the country that keeps fascinating me, a nation that holds my mental processes going despite the countless trips to this oriental tropical "paradise".

I wake up well past any sort of healthy state, I`m shivering like I suffer from a strong feber, my body clam and damp with sweat, stale and clammy perspiration with a heavy odour that betrays all the beer and Red Wine I drank today.

As always my mind is a mess due to The Dream, Moo visiting me in the Kingdom of Lord Morpheus surrounded by her "sisters in arms" looking at me with damning eyes, blaming me for the wretchedness of their excistence.

No big surprise there somehow!!!

Maybe I should give up the booze and get a healthier dream world. On the other hand going back to the Brotherhood of Evil Friends sounds good too, get drunk out of my farang mind in Westerpark, countless walks to the neighborhood`s coffee shops, finding myself in bed at all hours of the day sleeping off Mister Hangover only God knows what number. Find myself cycling back to my house, my head heavy on a full Red Wine at God forsaken hours in the darkness of the night and a tourist lady on the luggage rack ready for action of the physical type.

It doesn`t seem to make a difference to my financial situation...I`ve lived like that for years always somehow or other making the dough necessary to pay for the Chaotic Life Style.

Drown these darned Thai bitches in a Mekhong River full of cheap alcohol, burn their accusing eyes out with the sharp smoke of expensive coffee shop joints, fuck them up their collective asses, good heavy doses of male sperm in their thight pussies.

At least that way I wouldn`t be able to keep my volunteer work at the Kinderboerderij, wouldn`t have to put up with La Jefe Magriet`s dominant character, her useless screaming, her unbearable behaviour.

Adios to the moral side of my soul and Hooray back to the Brotherhood of Evil Friends!!!

Or maybe better not......

Friday, April 3, 2009

A letter to Letitia

A letter to Letitia, the Chinese lady I met in Lamai/Kho Samui/Thailand.Hi Letitia.

How is life out there in the Chinese Republic? Today we had our first real sunny day of the new spring so I took my Indian - or were they Chinese? - games, went over to the tourist hotspot the Anne Frank House and made some money.

Sitting out there in the sun - twenty degrees - and watching all these people from all over the world queueing up to see Anne Frank`s hidingplace during the Nazi occupation of Holland.

I was making money while watching the free show. Did I tell you about my games, these funny little games I make myself and haver been selling in the street for 21 years now, making money in the summer that I spent in winter in far away countries.

Also I am back at my volunteer job at the animal farm for children here in my neighborhood, cleaning stables and feeding the animals, goats, pigs, sheep, chicken, ponies, rabbits and the like, we even have a big 500 kilo cow and of course our visitors, young mothers with small children all in awe.

Great job with hard work and no pay but then that is why it is a volunteer job. You have anything like that in China?

Yes, I agree we have similar minds, my dear. I sort of noticed that when we chatted on that bench in front of that supermarket in Lamai.

I presume upbringing, race or the sex of a person have to do a lot with what goes on inside a human`s mind. However every so often when I travel I meet somebody or other who is pretty much on the same brainwave as myself.

A bit like bodily chemicals colliding and readjusting to each other with ease and even a certain pleasure.

As for my other travel plans...I would love to get on a bicycle trip across Europe this summer / I presume you followed my cycle trip to Berlin and Eastern Europe / but I take my volunteer job seriously though I have the luxury of no debts or financial problems, I am quite well off at the moment and could go anywhere in the world without a set return date fianancially speaking.

However I am involved with the society I live in here in Amsterdam, I need to do something to make my life in this city worth living for, been something to the world around me. I seem to remember trying to explaiun that to you down there during that relaxing evening together on that plain bench.

Just travelling around can lose its pall, its atractions after a certain time. I have been away on severall trips that took well over a year / one trip to Asia took over two years / and I did started to get a bit bored with it all despite the exotic locations of my travelling.

So please you take care and do not do any things I would not do myself...hehehehe...enjoy your life and keep me informed about your inner secrets.....another hehehehe.....after all I know of nobody to tell them to.

You already know all mine from my travel stories. I do not give just anybody my webpage.

I am sure we weill meet again somewhere in this big wide world, maybe Thailand or else here in Holland / which would mean free accomodation and a personal travel guide to the city, or maybe down ther in your native China with me hoping for the same service provided.

I send you a farang´s love all the way from ancient Amsterdam.