Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Amsterdam, 31/01/2007. The last day of the month means my wellfare comes in and to be honest, i have been on the fabled dutch wellfare most of my adult life. Don t ask me how i did all these travels, sometimes for several months on end / just had somebody back home to sign the wellfare check for me, thinks where easy in these days / .Nowadays i have calmed down, feel relaxed in this life and happy i have been able to do all these things without to much hard work in this life. I have a volunteer job these days at an animal farm for children just around the corner from my house, a profitable little job on the side selling my Mandalas at the tourist hotspot `the Anna Frank House` in the summer, my yearly trips to Thailand and my bicycle trips in europe, my ladyfriends from the tourist bar downtown and cheap supermarket beer in my frigo. What more can a man wish for. My friends are all idiots and alcoholics wandering the Amsterdam streets for things in the garbage they hope they can sell to second hands shops for some beer money. They always look unkempt and dirty, when they have a house it will by definition be dirty and full with empty beer cans, ashtrays full with sigarette ends and joint ends, often i see some old silver wrappers from chewing gum they use for their coke addiction. All of them on the dole, but then so am i. My life s quality just seems to be slightly better or maybe i have better control. They all call me Shiva.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Jane - Shawn s girlfriend -.

Amsterdam, 30-01-2007. Now was that a surprise or what? Jane on my phone - Shawn s indonesian ladyfriend from years back, have not heard a single word from her since time immemorial, well let s say for a year or two. Not that i was terrible surprised to be perfectly honest, the bloke was after all in amsterdam only a week or so ago. Met him myself just outside my house drunk as a skunk and all that. I have heart all the stories already, 300 Ueros worth of coke with Husain plus all the beer and the puta Husain picked up while getting more coke yet - He fucked her on the kitchenfloor when he found Shawn deep aslep on his bed, clever bugger. Let s not forget the 150 Euros of coke he smoked the next day with Richard probably sleeping that off in Richard s bed down in the Kinkerstraat where Richard lives presently in a squat. The story now is he stole that money from his mum back in Scarborough before setting off for Amsterdam. I have a strong feeling he felt the urge for coke after boarding with his mum for nearly a year, sure as hell no coke in her house. I feel sorry for his mum losing all that money that was apperrently her house rent. never really felt much love for Shawn myself, already from when i first met him in Harry house _where he was logding for free for as long as Harry could stand him - i thought the bloke was a LOSER.

Monday, January 29, 2007

on impulse

Amsterdam, 29-01-2007. Was not really sure how or what yestrday, this being a sunday and all that. Maybe a ride on my bicycle through the city would clear my mind but as always i could not pass by Harry s house without at least ringing his bell and say hello knowing damned well that gonig up to his 4 th. floor appartment means a heavy drinking session as always, the fool is an incurable alcoholic. No big surprise Rob s bike was already parked at the entrance, Harry has after all been to his family the day before so money aplenty and he just loves spending the elusive stuff on his mates. Twenty half liter cans of cheap beer later and the eventual arrival of Frank - i usully call Frank the Idiot - we ended up in cafe Zus - the heaviest bar in Amsterdam-west - By that time i felt drunk enough to say my farewell and try to sleep off my drunken state, i did after all have an appointment of the sexual kind with miss Penn from Thailand last night and what a night it turned out to be.

Monday, January 22, 2007

mayke, and the friends

Amsterdam, 21-01-2007. When i answered the doorbell i was pleasantly surprised to find Mayke in front of my door, an old lady-friend and, off late a good friend, i was prepared for a cozy night on my bed with her watching a good movie and drinking red wine. Maybe some interesting talking afterwards or in between as far as i am concerned, however the gods had other plans for last night and they did not cfeel content with me and Mayke together on the bed, the movie, the red wine and all that. Oh no mate, no wAy. I realised that all too well when my doorbell started ringing again, the usual 3 times in short sucession, no need to wonder who that could be, no absolutely not, that is a ringing code i the "Gang OF Evil Brothers" uses when they come over, ah yes, it was them all right. Them and a bag of beers, the cheap stuff of course from across the street, the 39 cents stuff from the Edah supermarket, you cannot get beer any cheaper around here. Well at least we had a good night jamming together, drinking beer -the 5 cans they brought along and all the beer i had in frigo which was a hell of a lot more- i even made them sandwiches, they after all never have money for food. Their money always seems to disappear into this well that has no bottom. Once all the beer was gone and my cigarillos they felt no qualms to try to get some money out of me for a last beer and a joint on top of that. The next morning early when i prepare for my volunteer job at the children s animal farm i found harry s harmonica and Mayke s umbrela in my front room. Sigh, sigh, sigh. Have i raelly become such a loser as them or do i still have some control over all this chaotic street craziness?

Saturday, January 20, 2007

-A bit of coke and a lot of sex-

Amsterdam,19-01-2007. Thursday night, time to go out downtown. Time to go hunting for the chicks in the backpackers heaven in the Warmoes str. and around. The Centrum bar is a good option as always, i know i will run into ladies from all over backpacking in Amsterdam but after 24.00 h. the place is also good for picking up black and hispanic ladies, most of them illegals and looking for Hollandse man who can help them out with the necesary paperwork for a legal status in this country. Well, i love the sex but marriage does not come into the picture as far as i am concerned. Alexia, a black Surinam ladies of about my own age attarcs my attention and soon enough starts french kissing me at the bar wispering into my ear to follow her to the toilet for a sniff of good old cocaine. Nobody seems to bother while she expertly snorts down a big line of coke from her pocket mirror, i take care of the other line. WOW, haven t done this for at least 2 years or even longer. The coke must have made her horny enough to invite me back to her place at the Haarlemmer pln. conviniently close to my own house. We stopp a taxi outside and i throw my bicycle in the back-no way i will that rusty bike back when i leave it here, not in this part of town and at this hour-. We snort coke like there is no tommorow and have hot and passionate sex for about 2 hours before she falls inti a comatose sleep, i still want to fuck but what is the use of fucking a woman that is dead asleep so i leave the place to sleep it all off back home. Shit, i don t even have her phone nr. Still she was one hell of a fuck, maybe i will be lucky and meet her again, she lives around the corner after all.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


Amserdam,18-01-2007. Looking out of my front window i thought i saw a familiar figure and when he lifts his head to gulp down a big gush of cheap Albert Heyn supermarkt beer and i see his light blue eyes i knew my first suspicion was dead right on the mark, it is Shawn from England. Despite the huge storm thas is raging across the state of The Netherlands and is hitting Amsterdam hard and heavy, i took my coat and went downstairs just in time to see him staggering down the street with Husain following them and rushing a bit i managed to catch up with them, right it was him drunk as a skunk as usual and though i do not really consider him a close friend, we shook hands and exchanged pleasantries untill i had the evil nerve to ask him about the 500 Euros he stole from our mutual friend Harry 1 year ago before he quickly made his escape back to England. I went back home to phone Harry, no surprise i was out partying with Rob and instantly angry. Personally i wonder how long it will take Shawn to talk Harry to let him stay in his house again. If there some things Shawn hates it is paying his own rent and working for his own money.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Free beer and a sigarillo

Amsterdam, 17-01-2007.Relaxing in the house after a short visit to the Second Mile for free soup, i can hear my doorbell ringing. I am not really surprised, i know damned well who these people are, it is that time of the month again, their social welfare money is gone for well over a week, their other financial sources are all finished so time has come to get a few free beers out of Shiva, maybe a bit of money for a joint-shit why did the crapper stop smoking pot, was so much easier to get free joint out of him. now we have to be happy to get one of his darned smelly sigarillos, would much rather have the joint-. I let them ring the bell twice before i decide to let them in, the nerves of these people, havn t seen them for several days while they had money but now their bread is gone they come over again. Anyway what are friends for~? so i let them in and give them a few free beers a sigarillo each, allow them to drink their precious beers before sending them on their way, i wonder how many times more i will open the door to them in the near future, better my money and beer goes their were it belongs namely me.

Monday, January 15, 2007

back to Baja California

Amsterdam, 15-01-2007. just taking some time off from internetting i watch a bit of telly and get pleasantly surprised to see some bloke called Hayden Turner doing a wildlife documentary on the Gray whale s yearly migration from Alaska to Guerrero Negro where the females deliver their babies while the males guard the entrance to Guerreo Negro s bay protecting them from the numerous sharks, yeah well, they to have to eat. How long has it been i did my bicycle trip from Tijuana to Cabo San Lucas? Not all that long really. Took me two months ida y vuelta as the mexicans call it. Even remembered the hotel where the bloke checked in, the very same one where i stayed, not all that hard to forget the bay full with whales breaching and spy-hopping. em>