The journey that knows no end

Holand, Amsterdam,
20-05-2010.

I still see you in my dreams, smiling at me in the same way as you did then, though I still don't remember the why and how, the reasons of our meeting or the meaning behind these cross-cultural little differences between us in the past, you were only one of many, bargirls from the Isan, one of these wretched creatures hooked to Sanuk and booze, Ya-Ba and other illigitimate substances, already gone to Kingdom-come like all the others...

I remember how you used to come to my room, my little sanctaury in the New Star Guesthouse, flying high on speed and Ya-Ba, horny and with a belly full with Meakhong whiskey, an empty wallet but desperate to have sex to satisfy your lust but also to forget the sweaty and big-bellied Mau Farangs that ravaged your body and your self-esteem....

No quick or swift passing to the other side, but a painfull and prolonged path to whatever is There, clammy sweat soaking the sheets of your bed while you wait for one of your friends, other ladies of the night, to tend to your emaciated body, a bottle of mineral water and some Khao Pad, a few cooling pieces of cloth on your fewered brow, a towel to wipe your shivering burning hot body clean of sickly perpiration...

I still see you in my deams smiling at me as you did there and then but I still don`t remember the why or how...but with Bangkok burning on CNN I realise my time of mourning must be over, mourning over your useless and messy death has got to come to an end...with the uprising of your people, the poor of my beloved Thailand quashed to smittereens for the whole world to see on the international TV I realise I have to move on, make my money for another prolonged stay in King Bhumipol's mystic realm...

I am sorry my big Tilak but life goes on...you were one of many, one of the many Tilaks, Thai ladies of the night, hot mommas sharing my bed and emptying my wallet during my stays in Thailand, that went to the other side but whose spirits and souls stayed in my Farang brain, one of the many that went on the journey that knows no return...hope you will rest in peace my dear Ohn...in my mind you will always smile at me, like all the others, your sisters of the night, poor bargirls from the Isan....