Monday, November 17, 2008

Clammy sheets and feverish dreams

Amsterdam,

I did my social participation thing at the animal farm though I was staggering around the place most of the morning due to my cold and subsequent flu.
Well, at least I got my payback the way my Buddhist believe taught me. Beautiful sofia came over with her cute little dog jopie giving me a great and warm embrace. Too bad about my cold, I had to tell her no kissy kissy stuff here or you will get infected too.

I wake up every ten or twenty minutes or so, my body racked by heavy coughs and covered in clammy sweats, my sheets are soaked with it and ready for the dryer.
All night my short bouts of sleep are tormented by nightmare attacks. The feverish nightmares that can really do your head in
and leave you in a state of bewilderment.
These dreams in my case are always the same. Prostitutes the world over, ladies that I took back to my cheap and dirty hotel rooms for a night of pleasure, women that helped my while away the lonely nights in far away countries. Females that had very little say in the matter coming from poor backgrounds, often as impoverished as church rats. Having kids staying with their own mummies while they go out in the darkness of third world streets in dubious neighborghoods looking for customers, money in exchange for sex. Drunk and smelly men, big beer bellies and macho behaviours. Male violence is no stranger to these poor creatures of the night.
Hunderts of these, if not a couple of thausend shared their bodies with me in far away countries where there is no social wellfare system.
Each and every one I remember vividly. How could I not? They inhabit my dreams, screaming at me with distorted faces and worn-out bodies, their mental health gone down the drain with every passing customer. They are trapped now, need to keep working in order to pay for the expensive medicines that countless STDs and Hiv require. Addicted to booze and drugs that need even more cash......I wake up once more wrapped in sheets soaked with my bodily fluids, my body trembling with fever, feeling cold and hot at the same time, I get out of bed deeply disturbed staggering to the fridge for an ice-cold beer, the darkness of my house surrounding me.

1 comment:

Sergei said...

A couple of thousand??? Man, you ARE the welfare and charity system for the poor women.