Let

SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.

LUST IS PRESSING, SOMETHING MUST BE DONE ABOUT IT.

FROM NOTHING INTO NOTHING.

FROM NOTHING INTO NOTHING. ALL THAT I HAVE EVER DONE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM.

DOOMED RELATIONSHIPS.

ALL HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS ARE INHERENTLY DOOMED WETHER BY DEATH OR DECLING INTEREST. SO WHY MAKE ANY KIND OF COMMITMENT?

Fire at the neighbors.

Amsterdam, 16-06-2007. The moment i hear the fire sirens i could smell smoke, close by, definitely not far away. Storming down the stairs i could already detect the fire-cars and my u8pstairs nieghbor standing in the entrance to the house, the door wide open and fire-marshals running everywhere. Well at least it was not our house that was on fire, it was the house next door, the place where the pigeon man, as i call him, lives. Only a few short months ago he was mad at me because of the television set that Rob and Richard sold him, they just found the bloody thing in the street, and did not work. Hey mon, i just helped the two geezers to carry it from Rob`s house to him, had nothing to do with the financial transaction, just made myself a few free beers helping these two streetcats out, nada mas. While i think back on that i see the very same pigeon man being carried dout of the house by the fire-marshals black all over by the soot but still conscious and, as far as i could see not seriously harmed. I fear to think about the pigeons living in the attic, i have a pretty strong suspicion they have all perished in the fire`s smoke. Wait till Rob hears about this!

Jesus Christ Superstar.

Amsterdam, 13-06-2007. Jesus Christ Superstar is really my nr. one favourite movie. saw it first as a mere kid at boarding school and already then i kneqw that without a doubt this was MY movie. But who was this mr. Jesus Crist anyway? I mean the bugger founded a religion which is not excatly my cup of tea, mon, i am as anit religion as can be. Down to earth and what is dead stays dead and never returns has always been my motto.So why get yourself nailed to a cross and endure all these pains that come with it? Was the poor sod some sort of misguided martyr or a divine human being born in the wrong time? The present time of mass comunication would have done his cause a hell of lot more good, or maybe not after all mass comunication also means people have become more sceptical, we would probably have laughed him of the world scene. People in the ancient times were more superstitious and therefore more open to new ideas. Yeah, add a bit of hatred for home and you will get the attention you want, run the risk that these same romans nail yopu to a cross and get it over with but then that might very well have been the whole idea. I mean after 2000 years and more billions of people still pray to this long-haired hippy on a daily basis. Well like i said, not my cup of tea but i still like the music of Jesus Christ Superstar.

My new position.

Amsterdam, 12-06-1994. my new postion at the animal farm is not without stress allthough now that Magriet has come to the conclusion that i am getting control she pretty much lets me do my thing and the young volunteer girl she has applied to my tuesday opening shift is dedicated and motivated, maybe a bit slow but she is getting quicker by the week apart from that we get on which is of course also important. The fact that i now get 20 Euro for each day i open gets my own motivation sky high. As for my other little bit of money on the side; last weekend was great with 85 Euro on saturday and 70 Euro on sunday and i have now passed 400 games out and sold!!!

A response from Kochanie Brygida.

Mein liebster Johannes, und ich dachte schon ichg hoere nichts mehr von
dir. Habe versucht dich am Donnerstag abend anzurufen, wollte wissen
was mit deinem Zhn los war, dann habe ich Samstag und heute dich mehrmals
angerufen. Und nun bin ich sehr froh von dir gehoert zu haben. Deine
Bekundung, dass du mich immer noch deine "liefje" bin, ruehrte mich tief
in meinen Gefuehlen. Orientiert sich das leben, die Liebe nur am
zauber? es gibt auch Realiteaten, mein Suesser. Lieb von dir, dass du mich
weiterhin sehen magst wenn ich das Beduerfniss habe. Die Erinnerung, wie
leidenschftlich und schoen unsere Intimeat bis zur letzten minute war,
und ich immer wieder gerne dich, deinen Koerper, deine Stimme,und in
dem moment auch noch irgendwelche Gefuehle zwischen uns sind, wenn wir
Liebe machen. Ich umarme dich mit viel Gefuehl in Gedanken. Deine Brygida

A letter to Kochanie Brigitta.

Amsterdam,09-06-2007. With my Polish Kochanie - which means sweetheart in Polish - gone now for several days i have my sweet freedom back which has always been the number one priority in my life and the very reason all my contacts/relationships with women have run on sharp rocks in heavy and high waves. Women who like to hang out with me always had to content themselves with perilous waters in dire straits, fact of my life, can`t help it, end of story!!! Halo liefje van mij, ja so nenne Ich Dich noch immer obschon Ich das letzte Mal das wir zusammen waren gespuert hab` das der Zauber zwischen uns leider nicht laeger da war. Trotzdem habe Ich versucht deine Zeit hier in Amsterdam angenehn zu machen. Da mit dem Klo ist es angefangen und Du hattest Recht, Ich sollte das verdammte Ding sauber gemacht habe, hatte sogar daran gedacht aber es ist mir irgentwie durch denn Kopf gegangen. Aber warscheinlich hatte es dann eine andere Sache gegeben. Ich habe Dich waehrend unsere Zeit sehr LIEB gehabt und liebe Dich noch immer furchtbar viel aber Ich verstehe auch das Ich so viel und so lange aleine gelebt habe und mich nicht laeger anpassen kann. Ich hab` die letzte drei Tage kein Contact mit Dir gemacht weil Ich alles ueberdenken wollte! Ich wil trotzdem das Du weisst das Ich Dich nicht in meinem Leben vergessen soll und Das Du immer willkommen bist in Amsterdam wuerdest Du eine Woche oder sonst weg sein muss von Berlin. Ich schicke Dir viel Liebe und alles Gute. Dein Johannes.