Holland, Amsterdam,02 August 2010.
I have searched, no trashed every department of my chaotic Farang mind but Nong remains truely hidden, hidden in the more murky corners of that gray brain mass that in my case, is a mess invected with countless virusses and traumas caused by a useless life of running around the world looking for the more darker side of human nature, staying in the cheapest and dirtiest of hotels, often no more but bottom-end whorehouses where the shared toilet was the territory of cat-sized rats and cockroaches bigger as I am used to here in Holland...
Well, lets get into the Mai Pen Rai mode and keep searching though there is no indication to my detective paperwork as where she might be hidden, no point torturing myself...blotted-out memories but no trace of Pom Tilac Nong who used to come to that rat-invested hellhole where I was locked up all these years ago, my fighting spirit responsible for thirty days of incarceration in a Krung Thep holding cell, where her brother she came to feed daily became a close friend despite our regular Muay Thai bouts in the Tamruat station's backyard, enjoyment for those clad in thight brown uniforms and Bangkok locals brought in from the busy streets, a hundert Thai Baht for the police "retirement fund" and they could enagage in the Thai's favorite pastime, gamble your hearts out and watch the Farang slash in out with his inmates...
"What happens when I don't fight?"..."You get beat up"...."Can I phone the embassy?".."NO"...plain and simple...
Back to Mai Pen Rai mode, back to present day, sitting here in the sun, making games and giving directions to foreing visitors lost in ancient Mokum, where the freedom of the city birds makes me feel jealous while I chase the dream of riches...hard to reach though selling games that bring in five Euros a piece or three for ten...
Back to present time and Mai Pen Rai mode where I make a quick sketch of a Saudi woman whose kids just bought three games for ten Euros, a young woman with three HDAD sons who wants to know if I believe in God, maybe a firm inclination to the Muslim faith or else the conviction of the Buddha way whose amulet is dangling around my neck...
Haaa, if there is a God he/she must have gone mad over a serious lack of sleep, a failed creation in the name of a Higher Being...
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