A twisted sense of obligation?

Amsterdam, 01 Jan. 2013.

Is it a twisted sense of obligation that send me to bed way before the 12.00 O'clock New Year's celebration in my beloved mokum last night, never mind that at this time of year the city has as always totally lost it's appeal to me, grey clouded overcast skies and shower after shower of heavenly piss forcing me indoors, not so patiently waiting for my next stay in King Bhumipol's Asian realm - under three weeks to wait, though -, still the new year's clebrations in this place are big fun...

But no, back to this twisted sense of obligation that send me to back early last night despite the massive aforementioned celebrations downtown, plenty of tourist p*ssy to pick up for a New Year's bit of the Adult's only game, a tourist lady on the back of my bike to my Westerpark located apartment that at this boring time of year is covered, walls and floor alike, with my nutty artwork, acrylic portraits on free Metro supplied newspaper pages, the worldwide crises has to be heeded with respect or else...Pas D'argent for drawing paper these days though an expensive return ticket to the Land of the Thais is still affordable for my meagre wallet...

But no, back that twisted sense of obligation instead of this nutcase psycho blogging babble, trying as always to make sense of that which is senseless to begin with, back to early nights and getting up early in a dark Dutch capital, brush my teeth and drag my still half asleep body downstairs to my waiting bicycle, prepare myself mentally for another New Year's day of hard work at the petting zoo, the animals need fodder and loving care, someone to clean their stables, shovel horse manure and goat shit, cow dung and cat shit....

Why didn't I say no to the manager who herself probably was enjoying the lillte pleasures of the New Year's celebrations right outside her front door...maybe I don't begrudge her her bit of fun but sitll, I seriously suffer from a twisted sense of obligation I fear...