Trat, 18 Febr. 2012.
The photos bring a rush of remembered emotions, a certain sence of regret but also loathing, relief and pain...the sort of pain experienced when something vulnerable could have been replaced, the fear that something human and very civilised will come back to me, still vividly remembering that rush of excitement all these years ago when I decided enough is enough, leave it all behind and do my own thing, Adios to the folks and a childhood gone completely wrong, travel across the egdes of this piece of mud, look for an early demise on the garbage heaps of this sorry excistence called Terra... didn't happen though with some sort of higher being convinced otherwise...
It all comes back with a vengance when I see the pics my Nongshao back home in the very cold of southern Holland, that boring province called Brabant where I grew up, uploaded 84 year old Dad blowing his birthday cake candles - whetet or not he managed to blow them all out seems unimportant here, really - instant recognition and the memories of a yought tried so hard to leave behind...
But Thailand is the land of day to day,no thoughts for tomorrow or was is past sence, hire my bicycle and cycle all day, live like the locals on a here and now utopia mental high, ignore modern technology, that Facebook nerd back in the good old US of A and sweet sweat, perspire under the harsh Thai sun, big drops of it rolling down my brow while I excercise and try hard to ban these images of an old man from a former life, blowing out candles on his number 84 birthday cake...
But then if that were all true sleep would come early tonight instead of not at all!!!
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