Goodbye to Miss Patty

28 Jan. 2012.

The late afternoon sun outside my room is turning the sky to a strange copper color while I lay here on my belly on the bed, arms propped up under my chin watching Patty have her usual smoke after our love making, her Zippo lighter shooting a tonque of flame into the air when she lights up...

She probably senses my uneasiness, me knowing with reseanable "social security" this was our last moment together, our last moment of mutual intimacy...there have been no demands nor a financial situation, no resentment, a great physical attraction but a mental divide that neither of us could cross, get to a mutual mental understanding and close the cultural gap that feels like the Grand Canyon back in that obscure state in the good old Us of A.

Travel has always allowed me to shed one identity for another but despite years of coming to the Orient, trying so hard to grasp the Asian mind, Pas De Comprend here, maybe I am unwilling on some deep subconscious level to abandon my Western mental comforts, don't wanna understand the need of this petite lady who is so determined to make ends meet that she is perfectly capable to teach her Nongshao the art of prostitution, even getting enraged that Little Sister is lazy and prefers to polish her nails, watch Thai love songs on telly in their 400 Thai Baht New Star room downstairs...

I watch the relfection of her still beautifull Asian body despite her 49 year of age, in the reflection in my mirror, hearing her voice inside my head, how she plans to lend yet more money fron the folks back home and take Nonshao down to Phuket, maybe there the pickings will be richer, probably forgetting that a lazy Little Sister in Pattaya is very unlikely to become active in Phuket...

I am quite happy to take Miss Patty out for dinner though have a strong suspicion she will want to return to their room and vocalise her latest plans in the Little Sister Grand Prostitution Scheme to Miss Bored Nonshao...

Fair enough...I haven't crossed the hardcore cardinal rule, during a moment of passion, to declare my undying love for her, knowing my place in her life perfectly well, a physical male Farang body to help her overcome three years of abstinence, not having made the mistake of sleeping around with another girl the moment she left my room, causing her Asian concept of face to be shattered into a thousand fragments of unabashed shame...I know from countless experiences how that sort of shame and loss of face has got to be remedied, only one way to recover that sort of face loss...a knife stuck between the Farang shoulder blades, the hapless victim hardly aware of what or how but definitely who!!!