Bar girl letters

Bangkok, 23 Jan. 2012.

A boring 110 Baht bus ride, a strech of heavily built-up roadside view I have seen hunderts of time already, not all that pleasing to the eye but has to be endured if I want to enjoy the little pleasures of Bangkok's notoriouslly obnoxious Soi Cowboy...at least Akkamalai bus station is within walking distance of my favourite haunt in this sweltering Asian metropole.

Jum is one of the Go Go dancers I remember from last year when I was hanging out here with Nong who is now happily taking care of her little Thai restaurant back in the Land Of The Vikings, and though I am not a member of her rather exclusive, and probably extensive, club of Farang lovers, juggling her availability and their arrival times the way only a Isan bar lady can but has always mystified me, still we are on relatively good terms and plenty are the letter I have written for her foreign clientele, words of love and lust in a variety of European languages...

Wearing her working costume, a gold colored bikini that barely covers her essentials, she flies over the moment I enter the Suzie Wong bar smack in the middle of Soi Cowboy, aware of her petite hand that gropes the indise of my jeans clad left leg...

" Maybe You write good letter for me in German for my wealthy sexy Tilac from Munchen, Hans? "

Many of these bar girls can hardly write or read Thai let alone English or one of the more obscure tongues coming out of Ancient Europe and these so-called Scribes they are obliged to dictate their letter to make  bad substitutes, incompetent bastarts that have the nerves to charge 200 Baht for semi-literate translations...often hilarious to the max.

I find myself back in a sexual laden admosphere with bare female limps smothering me while I write letters to forlorn elderly European males who thousands of miles from home and in a alcoholic mist, threw their dough around like it was confetti at a children's party, getting themselves infatuated with Hot Mommas often younger that the daughters they have back home, alimony money going into a Isan female purse...

These Isan bar ladies have little concept of tomorrow, no understanding of qualities the Western World considers important but they are street wise - or should I call it bar wise?-  to their trade, specialised to the art of extracting Farang exchange baht and convincing me of prostituting my writing skills and languistic knowledge...

It goes a bit like this...

My dear john..maybe I should call the john for this love letter John-Paul The Pope just for the heck of it...
Me miss You too much, your strong arms when in bed together...
You gone only two weeks but me feel not see you life time...
Me yearning for you make love me...
Please, please, Phom Tilac, you come back soon...maybe I should add, don't forget your fat wallet, hehehe
I cry every night in pillow me before sleep...
You big ande strong, me can not live without you...

Your sexy Tilac, plus name.

Please, mommy me sick much, please send money!!! plus bank account number.

My letters, be they in Englsih, Dutch, Swedish or Italian, have become legendary in this bar over the years and my bar fees low due to it...never lost any sleep over it either...so if ever you receive a Soi Cowboy bar girl letter, changes are it was me they dictated it to!!!