I feel like being done with the dead wino, feel like being seriously and thoroughly done and over with, really fed up with these Thai inspired nightmares that consume my Farang trained Chai, do a real Numero Uno number on my already seriously fucked-up mind, my gray brain mass going helter-skelter...
In my mind's eye I am trying vainly to puch liquids into Moo's coughing mouth, attempting to clean her up, medicating her, comfort her in her most darkest hours of need...
Yeah, I still remember these nights when she coughed her poor female Thai heart out, trembling in my arms back there in my New Star Guest House 350 Baht a night room, apologising to me for disturbing my must needed sleep but refusing a quick mid night taxi drive to the Pattaya Hospital next to Disco Duck, her emaciated body shivering...
Her words still echoing inside my sleep deprived Farang mind, "me not like cos is like you customer me", another fit of heavy coughing cuting her short and my feeling wavering between bodily forcing her to that nutcase taxi drive and respecting her feelings and crazy Thai logic...
In the end it were her feelings and Thai logic I opted for, making me feel obsolete in a mental way now, more shit for my dream world haunting me...
Been there before but didn't learn the lesson though, I guess!!!
In this painting on the Thai Bangkok Post newspaper I see her like she was in my latest nightmare...turning her back to me...
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