an abandoned life unfullfilled

I can not affort to dawdle, after all she has got a half block head start on me from when I watched her walking by Cafe De Twee Prinsen on Prinsengracht, negotiating my way between tables occupied by nationalities from across the world, some faces familiar from earlier in the feared Anne Frank line-up outside, a half drunk cup of Java left behind, no time to explain to young blond waiting on tables the money is left on that wooden construction and "NO" the coffee was not bad but I am in  real hurry, no time to waist, walking fast but not running yet, Miss Fon, Miss Somali walked by, maybe high on GHB and Dutch Kabouter grass again but hopefully willing to pose for me one more time, throw in another couple of Mooi Kaap red wine and she will stay the night....hopefully anyway...

No nail through my Nugumbu haert but company for an otherwise loney night, forget my Thai Tilac far away in the Thai kingdom, not available unless I take the next China Air flight and patiently fly twelve boring hours across half the world, ten kilometers up high and watching on-board movies while trying hard to keep lust and desire in check untill arrival...

No way Phuen Phom, this black beauty from the black man's continent is only a short run away, maybe walking down the Brouwersgracht with her while pushing my bike loaded with my small transportable street shop, telling her about good old Mokum and hoping for...well, sure as hell freezing over you know what dear reader of this crazy blog...

but No, nothing and Nada when I enter the street, vanished in the crowd of tourists, sidewalks full with people, parked vehicles and rusty bicycles but no black twat moving seductively down the cobble stones...

Did I imagine it, did she glance back at me when passing the bar, her smile a bit fuller this time...I watch the canal full with boats, life is not always coming from the direction you might expect, I study the street feeling a pang of regret of what could have been, an abandoned life unfullfilled...