Pattaya, 27 Febr. 2013.
I wonder why I have so carelessly ventured back into that danger-ridden territory of the after midnight Pattaya beach shuffle, once again watching the activities of the of a mixed nationality rif-raf which will, as always when I spend my wintery retreats in this Sodom and Gomorra kingdom, be marked forever indelibly upon my memory, the madness of this after midnight beach resort being far outweighed by the very experience itself, a self-chosen isolation from my life back in good old Mokum, drinking Archa bottles of beer, forty-two THB from the Seven/11 to bring myself back into that fog-like alcoholic haze where a self-indulgent mediative state of mind will maybe not enlighten me but muddle my mind even more...
Cute submissive female voices politely inquiring if I am interested in a shorttime or maybe could affort them a can of Leo, a Leo beer is easliy affortable in order to clean my Kharma and inmortal soul of offending my new-found Isan born Hot Momma friends by declining to hire any of their nubile bodies for the remainder of the night...
Watching young rice farmer daughters turned whores passing time while waiting for customers by grooming each other's hair, are they looking for lice?, making up in hand-held mirrors and trying their limited pidgin English on me..
Watching a posse of Kathoeys walking by on inpossibly high heeled platform shoes, a sub-subclass of Thai society and rumoured to be compulsive gossips, giving me the eye but obviously realizing I am no possible prey for them surrounded as I am by the real thing...
Another swig from my Ancha beer, maybe another bunch of Leo cans for my new-found friends, sitting out another lonely night "alone" on the non-existent Pattaya beach but not interested in returning to the arms of Lord Morpheus...
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
My own Suzie Wong story
Pattaya, 22 Febr. 2013.
Was it William Holden who, on a sabatical year off, wanting to better his ameteuristic artwork, moved to Hong Kong, took up residence in a Kowloon shorttime hotel full with soft-hearted Chinese whores and fell in love with one of them, the legendary story of Suzie Wong...
Back in the days when Westerners tended to look at Asians as ,well, not exactly formidable, mostly small of frame though that last part could be seen as attractive in the local females, speaking some sort of indecipherable monkey related chatter, just not white enough to be considered equal to the European race of idiots...
nowadays a whole army of sex starved white men flocks to Asia in search of their very own Suzie Wong, or maybe the rif-raf of a failed society getting smashing Mao on cheap booze and "off" every night of even more economical sex...
Maybe I am slowly changing into an retired old fart myself who is given his last chance at love with my own Suzie Wong, Miss endu waiting in my room for my speedy return but unwilling to leave my cold Archa Beer alone, or else this army of mostly elderly degenerates and losers here on the beach, my fascination with the abomination forcing me back to the after midnight Pattaya shuffle of crazed lightning, again and again...
Contemplating my soon to be break-up with Miss Endu, the very words I should use to soften the mutual flow of tears, , Miss endu who happily unaware of my mental processes is waiting, erotic intentions on her mind and Pauvre Moi totally and well aware men in general, and probably me in particular, tend to be hopelessly stupid in the company of beautiful women, like I said Moi no exception there though realistic enough to know I can not bond for longer periods of time...
My own Suzie Wong story, or maybe my own fate!!!
Was it William Holden who, on a sabatical year off, wanting to better his ameteuristic artwork, moved to Hong Kong, took up residence in a Kowloon shorttime hotel full with soft-hearted Chinese whores and fell in love with one of them, the legendary story of Suzie Wong...
Back in the days when Westerners tended to look at Asians as ,well, not exactly formidable, mostly small of frame though that last part could be seen as attractive in the local females, speaking some sort of indecipherable monkey related chatter, just not white enough to be considered equal to the European race of idiots...
nowadays a whole army of sex starved white men flocks to Asia in search of their very own Suzie Wong, or maybe the rif-raf of a failed society getting smashing Mao on cheap booze and "off" every night of even more economical sex...
Maybe I am slowly changing into an retired old fart myself who is given his last chance at love with my own Suzie Wong, Miss endu waiting in my room for my speedy return but unwilling to leave my cold Archa Beer alone, or else this army of mostly elderly degenerates and losers here on the beach, my fascination with the abomination forcing me back to the after midnight Pattaya shuffle of crazed lightning, again and again...
Contemplating my soon to be break-up with Miss Endu, the very words I should use to soften the mutual flow of tears, , Miss endu who happily unaware of my mental processes is waiting, erotic intentions on her mind and Pauvre Moi totally and well aware men in general, and probably me in particular, tend to be hopelessly stupid in the company of beautiful women, like I said Moi no exception there though realistic enough to know I can not bond for longer periods of time...
My own Suzie Wong story, or maybe my own fate!!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Lost German lady backpackers in Pattaya
Pattaya, 20 Febr. 2013.
I have Uberhaupt Keine Zeit, Pas De Temp for the young backpackers, two freckled suntanned girls in their early twenties who just got off the Songthaew, carrying huge packs and the inevitable Holy Bible of the backpack world in hand, looking bewildered at the mayhem going on this late at night on Beachroad, obviously having chosen the wrong resort destination, doggedly following me, asking me in guterral German for cheap accomodation...
They probably feel like their roman God crapped all over them, bending forward under the weight of their massive brand new looking red colored nylon packs, surrounded by the expatriate community of shady Farang characters who have, at this advanced hour of the night, been drinking way too much than their fair share, have been cavorting with too many Hot Mommas already...high giggles of Isaan beach girls who bottoms get pinched adding to the scene of a menagerie of easy go happy people whose only desire in life is far away from those of the avarage Lonely Planet guided backpacker...they would have done well to take the ferry to nearby Kho Samet instead...
I has actually been rare for me these last couple of weeks to be a part of this wee hour of the Pattaya night's beach shuffle, having spent most of the evenings back in my New Star room, enjoying Miss Endu's charming company and eating all the great Thai food she buys for us each and every night back at the Soi Bhukaow market, like barbecued Plamuk, Pat Tai, Hoi Kheng and Hoi Mhaleng Poe, drinking cold local beer and Hong Thong whiskey, chatting and enjoying great sex together, massage and sleeping peacefully in each other's arm, sometimes waking up at night for a pee and having to untangle myself from a laberinth of bodily extremeties...
It is obvious that Miss Endu's need for affection has taken the better of me, her need for companionship having taken control of my nightly preoccupations, no way I have time for these lost German lady backpackers who look by now as though they realize they might have made a wrong turn some way back but with no help from their treasured Lonely Planet bible tell them where and when...no time for them, no time at all, I have to run back to my Thai love, waiting for me at my New Star room!!!
I have Uberhaupt Keine Zeit, Pas De Temp for the young backpackers, two freckled suntanned girls in their early twenties who just got off the Songthaew, carrying huge packs and the inevitable Holy Bible of the backpack world in hand, looking bewildered at the mayhem going on this late at night on Beachroad, obviously having chosen the wrong resort destination, doggedly following me, asking me in guterral German for cheap accomodation...
They probably feel like their roman God crapped all over them, bending forward under the weight of their massive brand new looking red colored nylon packs, surrounded by the expatriate community of shady Farang characters who have, at this advanced hour of the night, been drinking way too much than their fair share, have been cavorting with too many Hot Mommas already...high giggles of Isaan beach girls who bottoms get pinched adding to the scene of a menagerie of easy go happy people whose only desire in life is far away from those of the avarage Lonely Planet guided backpacker...they would have done well to take the ferry to nearby Kho Samet instead...
I has actually been rare for me these last couple of weeks to be a part of this wee hour of the Pattaya night's beach shuffle, having spent most of the evenings back in my New Star room, enjoying Miss Endu's charming company and eating all the great Thai food she buys for us each and every night back at the Soi Bhukaow market, like barbecued Plamuk, Pat Tai, Hoi Kheng and Hoi Mhaleng Poe, drinking cold local beer and Hong Thong whiskey, chatting and enjoying great sex together, massage and sleeping peacefully in each other's arm, sometimes waking up at night for a pee and having to untangle myself from a laberinth of bodily extremeties...
It is obvious that Miss Endu's need for affection has taken the better of me, her need for companionship having taken control of my nightly preoccupations, no way I have time for these lost German lady backpackers who look by now as though they realize they might have made a wrong turn some way back but with no help from their treasured Lonely Planet bible tell them where and when...no time for them, no time at all, I have to run back to my Thai love, waiting for me at my New Star room!!!
Monday, February 18, 2013
Dinner conversation at the Apex hotel
Pattaya, 18 Febr. 2013.
I spoil my palate with some Mee Krob mixed with Peek Kai, politely thanking the slight young girl in the Apex uniform in Thai for the condensed bottle of Leo, Khop Khun Khap, being rewarded with a sly smile and the habitual Thai Wai before quietly slipping away, carefully avoiding Miss Endu's jealous glances...she might consider our contact of the Phuen/Phuen nature though sleeping with me free of charge every night back at my New Star guest house which she, by the way, thinks of as inferior accomodation for somebody as gifted as me, but jealous she can be, never mind her long daily hours on the beach looking for customers...
Telling me stories of about Go Go girls and massage parlours, giving me intimate physical accounts of Pattaya's Farang residents who at some time or other have been taking advantage of her services, reporting on the comings and goings of old hands and generally going forth on any which subject that holds her fancy, the usual panoply of dead Yaa Baa girls and deceased Farang alcoholics over the course of her Hot Momma carreeer in this Sodom and Gomorra paradise for Western males...
I check my Leo bottle but it has gone empty while I tried to concentrate on her banter, trying hard to ignore the fat German speaking slobs at the next table who generally speaking look like unmade beds in their oversized shorts and sweaty T-shirts and pretty much speak the same sort of shit but then as seen from the sex tourist point of view, silently wondering if any of them belonged to her "clientele" at some time or other, maybe even this very afternoon today..
Two hundert and fifty TBH a person for buffet dinner at the Apex hotel and the only entertainment I get is stuff I have been hearing for the last twenty-five years already, scared to asked for another Leo beer in case Miss Endu might decide to transform her jealousy into a catfight with Missy Apex...
I spoil my palate with some Mee Krob mixed with Peek Kai, politely thanking the slight young girl in the Apex uniform in Thai for the condensed bottle of Leo, Khop Khun Khap, being rewarded with a sly smile and the habitual Thai Wai before quietly slipping away, carefully avoiding Miss Endu's jealous glances...she might consider our contact of the Phuen/Phuen nature though sleeping with me free of charge every night back at my New Star guest house which she, by the way, thinks of as inferior accomodation for somebody as gifted as me, but jealous she can be, never mind her long daily hours on the beach looking for customers...
Telling me stories of about Go Go girls and massage parlours, giving me intimate physical accounts of Pattaya's Farang residents who at some time or other have been taking advantage of her services, reporting on the comings and goings of old hands and generally going forth on any which subject that holds her fancy, the usual panoply of dead Yaa Baa girls and deceased Farang alcoholics over the course of her Hot Momma carreeer in this Sodom and Gomorra paradise for Western males...
I check my Leo bottle but it has gone empty while I tried to concentrate on her banter, trying hard to ignore the fat German speaking slobs at the next table who generally speaking look like unmade beds in their oversized shorts and sweaty T-shirts and pretty much speak the same sort of shit but then as seen from the sex tourist point of view, silently wondering if any of them belonged to her "clientele" at some time or other, maybe even this very afternoon today..
Two hundert and fifty TBH a person for buffet dinner at the Apex hotel and the only entertainment I get is stuff I have been hearing for the last twenty-five years already, scared to asked for another Leo beer in case Miss Endu might decide to transform her jealousy into a catfight with Missy Apex...
Friday, February 15, 2013
The concept of face on www.thailandstories. com
Pattaya, 15 Febr. 2013.
I surely need the sweating bottle of Leo to wash away this spicy Somtam, an Isaan papaya salad with super hot chillies and though my palate is not exactly in favor of this local dish I have very little choice but to gulp it down and hope for the better. Face goes a long way in this Asian kingdom and refusing Miss Endu's paid dinner suggestion would and probably will be grounds for a pre-marital break-up and a serious Muay Thai boxing session later on in the privacy of my room, no Boom Boom but Yek Yek Yek instead...
Personally I would have gone for the lemon grass chicken with spicy noodles but my latest Isaan born love affair is paying with a sugar daddy supplied "alimony", so what choice do I have but comply with the rules of the Thai ways...
Thai ways that are obviously too hard for some Farang to understand, judging from some of the malignious comments I have been receiving on my nutty blog stories published on www.thailandstories.com. Nothing new in that department though on that site, still vividly remembering the unconstructive negative comments from last year, grumpy old men living is some obscure US of A state, long since out of touch with the Thais and their strange ways, having forgotten the concept of face if ever understanding it t all, probably were a victim of the concept of Simsod, returning home like the proverbial knights without their armour, maybe lost their horses as well and in some really naive cases, even their underwear, a life time of saving disappearing in the slender hands of clever Hot Mommas, nothing to do now but spew forth their fustrations on the stories by those more accomplished and experienced in the Thai way of life...
No Nit Noi Sanuk for them but Pas D'argent - by the way that is French so I suggest you buy a dictionary Mister Hump - upon returning home. No way their negative reactions rub me the wrong way, see no reason to let my irratations run their free reign, to me they verge on the comic...
Feels like Mister Humpby-Dumpby isn't up to anything more complicated but soaking his shoes while taking a whiz in Lumpini Park, even the average Soi Dog would do better in this department, generally full of cr*p the man is probably unaware of the enormous amount of loss of face he suffers with his breach of the Thai concept of face...
I showed his comments to my charming companion, miss Endu who was convinced the Humpback Whale, as she called him, would come back the next time around as a roach, the Thai concept of Karma getting the better of him. Humby-Dumpy the roach with a humpback, a hilarious though really...I need another swig from my Leo here before I collapse laughing...
I surely need the sweating bottle of Leo to wash away this spicy Somtam, an Isaan papaya salad with super hot chillies and though my palate is not exactly in favor of this local dish I have very little choice but to gulp it down and hope for the better. Face goes a long way in this Asian kingdom and refusing Miss Endu's paid dinner suggestion would and probably will be grounds for a pre-marital break-up and a serious Muay Thai boxing session later on in the privacy of my room, no Boom Boom but Yek Yek Yek instead...
Personally I would have gone for the lemon grass chicken with spicy noodles but my latest Isaan born love affair is paying with a sugar daddy supplied "alimony", so what choice do I have but comply with the rules of the Thai ways...
Thai ways that are obviously too hard for some Farang to understand, judging from some of the malignious comments I have been receiving on my nutty blog stories published on www.thailandstories.com. Nothing new in that department though on that site, still vividly remembering the unconstructive negative comments from last year, grumpy old men living is some obscure US of A state, long since out of touch with the Thais and their strange ways, having forgotten the concept of face if ever understanding it t all, probably were a victim of the concept of Simsod, returning home like the proverbial knights without their armour, maybe lost their horses as well and in some really naive cases, even their underwear, a life time of saving disappearing in the slender hands of clever Hot Mommas, nothing to do now but spew forth their fustrations on the stories by those more accomplished and experienced in the Thai way of life...
No Nit Noi Sanuk for them but Pas D'argent - by the way that is French so I suggest you buy a dictionary Mister Hump - upon returning home. No way their negative reactions rub me the wrong way, see no reason to let my irratations run their free reign, to me they verge on the comic...
Feels like Mister Humpby-Dumpby isn't up to anything more complicated but soaking his shoes while taking a whiz in Lumpini Park, even the average Soi Dog would do better in this department, generally full of cr*p the man is probably unaware of the enormous amount of loss of face he suffers with his breach of the Thai concept of face...
I showed his comments to my charming companion, miss Endu who was convinced the Humpback Whale, as she called him, would come back the next time around as a roach, the Thai concept of Karma getting the better of him. Humby-Dumpy the roach with a humpback, a hilarious though really...I need another swig from my Leo here before I collapse laughing...
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
The after midnight Pattaya shuffle
Pattaya, 13 Febr. 2013.
Back on the Pattaya boulevard, enjoying a ice cold Ancha beer and watching the after midnight shuffle of the dispossessed once again taking control of the darker hours of the Thai night, psychotic Farangs having been on Chang most of the day already, still soaked with sweat from the midday heat...
The Kathoeys rushing up and down on high heeled platform shoes in a mad hunt for customers, a 350 Baht shorttime at the PS Guest House down in Soi Yamato will suffice for their next Yaa Baa pill...
Frightened looking young local females gathering in a crowd, obviously new to the scene and not all that long out of some obscure upcountry rice paddie...
A couple of scruffy looking males somewhere in their fifties sitting to my left and hammering away at each other in strong British working-class accents, the dazzlingly beautifull companion of one of them probably another Kathoey and I fear Mister Working-class Briton will tonight learn one of the most fundamental rules of Pattaya where nothing really is what it at first seems to be ...
A down and out Hot Momma well past her prime on my right gnawing away with black decayed teeth at a fried corn stalk, reminding me that whereever you look in Thailand and at whatever time you see people eating, always smiling too though not here on Beach Road and at this advanced hour of the night...
The army of the dispossessed, the rejects from the West, the guilty and the frightened from up north, from the steamingly hot rice fields of the Isaan, a flood tide of the hopeless and lost, the misbegotten making the after midnight hours their small little kingdom, a Sodom and Gomorra that the cardinals of the holy church in Vatican City would find hard to believe...
Maybe another sortie to the Seven/11, another big icy cold 38 Baht Ancha beer would be in order here!!!
Back on the Pattaya boulevard, enjoying a ice cold Ancha beer and watching the after midnight shuffle of the dispossessed once again taking control of the darker hours of the Thai night, psychotic Farangs having been on Chang most of the day already, still soaked with sweat from the midday heat...
The Kathoeys rushing up and down on high heeled platform shoes in a mad hunt for customers, a 350 Baht shorttime at the PS Guest House down in Soi Yamato will suffice for their next Yaa Baa pill...
Frightened looking young local females gathering in a crowd, obviously new to the scene and not all that long out of some obscure upcountry rice paddie...
A couple of scruffy looking males somewhere in their fifties sitting to my left and hammering away at each other in strong British working-class accents, the dazzlingly beautifull companion of one of them probably another Kathoey and I fear Mister Working-class Briton will tonight learn one of the most fundamental rules of Pattaya where nothing really is what it at first seems to be ...
A down and out Hot Momma well past her prime on my right gnawing away with black decayed teeth at a fried corn stalk, reminding me that whereever you look in Thailand and at whatever time you see people eating, always smiling too though not here on Beach Road and at this advanced hour of the night...
The army of the dispossessed, the rejects from the West, the guilty and the frightened from up north, from the steamingly hot rice fields of the Isaan, a flood tide of the hopeless and lost, the misbegotten making the after midnight hours their small little kingdom, a Sodom and Gomorra that the cardinals of the holy church in Vatican City would find hard to believe...
Maybe another sortie to the Seven/11, another big icy cold 38 Baht Ancha beer would be in order here!!!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Another rendezvous with a Isaan born MILF
Pattaya, 10 Febr. 2013.
It is not like I have plunged into another crazy love affair with some nineteen-year old girl, something in the forty-plus kilogramme department, with a timit smile, demure behaviour, pefect long slender legs and a honey-brown Isaan complexion, new to the scene...not like I have made good on my escape from cold and rainy Amsterdam to go around in the Sodom and Gomorra Farang male kingdom in Southeast Asia banging anything and everything on high platform shoes walking the Pattaya boulevard, hungry for food and dreaming of a better life in Farang Land...
The torment of a Hot Momma's life in the off season is easily taken advantage of by some of these old hands whose beer guts resemble that of a kangeroo's pregnant pouch, too much Chang during an adult life time of punting in a cheap paradise...
No, I find myself back in the wee hours of the night, somewhere up in yet another small room reeking of femininity, another midnight rendezvous with yet again another Isaan born MILF, kid in Farang Land and a monthy income from an elderly sugar daddy, no purpose in life but hoping Mister Suikeroompie won't forget to sign the "alimony" checks, no chorus of monks singing the hosannas for her but sweaty testosteron ruled males from Farawaistan adding to her boredom...
Friendship with a nutty craze like yours truely maybe a source of Sanuk, a movie back at Pattaya Festival's cinema watching old man and former "governator" Schwarzenegger doing his thing, coffee at the Starbucks and food from the street, Bacardi to heighten the spirits and massage oil for the relaxation later on in that aforementioned room down in Soi Haa...
It is not like I have plunged into another crazy love affair with some nineteen-year old girl, something in the forty-plus kilogramme department, with a timit smile, demure behaviour, pefect long slender legs and a honey-brown Isaan complexion, new to the scene...not like I have made good on my escape from cold and rainy Amsterdam to go around in the Sodom and Gomorra Farang male kingdom in Southeast Asia banging anything and everything on high platform shoes walking the Pattaya boulevard, hungry for food and dreaming of a better life in Farang Land...
The torment of a Hot Momma's life in the off season is easily taken advantage of by some of these old hands whose beer guts resemble that of a kangeroo's pregnant pouch, too much Chang during an adult life time of punting in a cheap paradise...
No, I find myself back in the wee hours of the night, somewhere up in yet another small room reeking of femininity, another midnight rendezvous with yet again another Isaan born MILF, kid in Farang Land and a monthy income from an elderly sugar daddy, no purpose in life but hoping Mister Suikeroompie won't forget to sign the "alimony" checks, no chorus of monks singing the hosannas for her but sweaty testosteron ruled males from Farawaistan adding to her boredom...
Friendship with a nutty craze like yours truely maybe a source of Sanuk, a movie back at Pattaya Festival's cinema watching old man and former "governator" Schwarzenegger doing his thing, coffee at the Starbucks and food from the street, Bacardi to heighten the spirits and massage oil for the relaxation later on in that aforementioned room down in Soi Haa...
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
1001 reasons to avoid Bangkok
Pattaya, 06 Febr. 2013.
Lots of people on my cell but with Joy, aka Daughter Number One, I have very little say in the matter but answer knowing she is gonna want me to come over to that steaming Thai capital the locals call Krung Thep but we the Farangs, for some obscure reason way beyond me, have come to know as Bangkok, maybe something going back to the Vietnam war when American marines did their R and R thing in in the GoGo bars in Patpong, sort of Bang your C*ck, whatever...
To me this mega-mega-metropole is a place where international masses of humanity spill out of huge superstructures that rise up in the sky like their is no heaven to think of, or maybe the Thais are trying again and again to build their own version of The Tower Of Babel...
People moving every which way apparently without any real purpose, eddying around fast food stalls and avoiding the slow torrent of traffic, exhaust fumes from buses, cars, maybe Benzes from those doing better than the average Thai on the corruption department, Tuk-Tuks crawling the streets, another failed rice crop up north and another army of impoveraged Isan farmers migrating south in hopes of a better futures but not exactly better lungs, their daughters filling the bars of Soi Cowboy and assorted places of Farang entertainment...
Vendors selling fake Rolexes, clothes and jewelry, Kamagra and Ciallis, mobile lingerie shops stopping in front of the Nana Plaza GoGo bars, all manner of steaming little titbits, sizzling and boiling, smoking in open air cooking pans, my nostrils full with exhaust fumes mixed with aromas and scents of a third world food obsession...
One can not say that Bangkok is crowded, way no, it is supercrowded, an obstacle course for the average Thai and a Piece De Resistance for us the Farang...
Very persuasive circumstances to stay right here in Luckyland Pattaya, tell Daughter number One to hop on that two hour, 135 Baht bus to Pattaya instead.
Lots of people on my cell but with Joy, aka Daughter Number One, I have very little say in the matter but answer knowing she is gonna want me to come over to that steaming Thai capital the locals call Krung Thep but we the Farangs, for some obscure reason way beyond me, have come to know as Bangkok, maybe something going back to the Vietnam war when American marines did their R and R thing in in the GoGo bars in Patpong, sort of Bang your C*ck, whatever...
To me this mega-mega-metropole is a place where international masses of humanity spill out of huge superstructures that rise up in the sky like their is no heaven to think of, or maybe the Thais are trying again and again to build their own version of The Tower Of Babel...
People moving every which way apparently without any real purpose, eddying around fast food stalls and avoiding the slow torrent of traffic, exhaust fumes from buses, cars, maybe Benzes from those doing better than the average Thai on the corruption department, Tuk-Tuks crawling the streets, another failed rice crop up north and another army of impoveraged Isan farmers migrating south in hopes of a better futures but not exactly better lungs, their daughters filling the bars of Soi Cowboy and assorted places of Farang entertainment...
Vendors selling fake Rolexes, clothes and jewelry, Kamagra and Ciallis, mobile lingerie shops stopping in front of the Nana Plaza GoGo bars, all manner of steaming little titbits, sizzling and boiling, smoking in open air cooking pans, my nostrils full with exhaust fumes mixed with aromas and scents of a third world food obsession...
One can not say that Bangkok is crowded, way no, it is supercrowded, an obstacle course for the average Thai and a Piece De Resistance for us the Farang...
Very persuasive circumstances to stay right here in Luckyland Pattaya, tell Daughter number One to hop on that two hour, 135 Baht bus to Pattaya instead.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Reasons to take up permanent residence
Pattaya, 03 Febr. 2013.
If I could I would live and prosper right here in Thailand where, never mind that the ideas of the local populace on my native Dutch soil probably would run counter to those of my own, theirs being so dogmatic about single male Farang living it up in the Land Of Smiles...Yeah some very persuasive circumstances talk to themselves in favour of living and breathing sort of permanently here in this Asian kingdom, at least for me...
Maybe I still have some problems with the Thai ways but they inhabit the Nit Noi department in the dusty corners of my grey brain mass with me learning fast and adapting rapidly...adapting rapidly to the benefits of coping with the benefits and ignoring the negatives...
Ignore the notion of Phra Phum, malignant and benign spirits living everywhere, spirits that need placating constantly, Mai Pen Rai that my ladyfriends spent more Thai Baht on offerings, their superstitious believes needing even more local dough on astrologers every week as I spent on Leo beer...
Ignore the pick-up trucks with Naam Som and Rambutans blaring the day's prices from a amplifyer systems mounted atop the vehicle and disturbing my mental peace of Farang mind while sipping my beer in front of my guest house each and every night, the tape vendor down the Soi who probably believes he is doing the community a favour by turning the sound volume up to maximum all day advocating his wares all day and night, Pink Floyd, Supertramp and Thai love songs...
Nong, aka as Miss Superboob, whose place of residence is full to overflow with rotting vegetables, stale eggs, and bread that is so old it has turned to a deep dark green mouldy state, great for the army of ants that co-habit her room but not all that appeticing to my Farang palate, whose goldfish suffer from a severe state of alcohol posoining due to the copious amounts of Mhekong she feeds them each night after coming home from her ten hour kitchen shift, a quick shower and back on her precious scooter touring nighttime Pattaya for h*rny Farang males, poking her nose at Pattaya's tightly brown clad finest which might well earn her a life time membership in some female inmate society some day...
I could go on and on about the negatives of this weird Asain existence but suffice it to say that on some crazy basic level I have come to see it all as attractions in their own right, reasons to take up permanent residence
If I could I would live and prosper right here in Thailand where, never mind that the ideas of the local populace on my native Dutch soil probably would run counter to those of my own, theirs being so dogmatic about single male Farang living it up in the Land Of Smiles...Yeah some very persuasive circumstances talk to themselves in favour of living and breathing sort of permanently here in this Asian kingdom, at least for me...
Maybe I still have some problems with the Thai ways but they inhabit the Nit Noi department in the dusty corners of my grey brain mass with me learning fast and adapting rapidly...adapting rapidly to the benefits of coping with the benefits and ignoring the negatives...
Ignore the notion of Phra Phum, malignant and benign spirits living everywhere, spirits that need placating constantly, Mai Pen Rai that my ladyfriends spent more Thai Baht on offerings, their superstitious believes needing even more local dough on astrologers every week as I spent on Leo beer...
Ignore the pick-up trucks with Naam Som and Rambutans blaring the day's prices from a amplifyer systems mounted atop the vehicle and disturbing my mental peace of Farang mind while sipping my beer in front of my guest house each and every night, the tape vendor down the Soi who probably believes he is doing the community a favour by turning the sound volume up to maximum all day advocating his wares all day and night, Pink Floyd, Supertramp and Thai love songs...
Nong, aka as Miss Superboob, whose place of residence is full to overflow with rotting vegetables, stale eggs, and bread that is so old it has turned to a deep dark green mouldy state, great for the army of ants that co-habit her room but not all that appeticing to my Farang palate, whose goldfish suffer from a severe state of alcohol posoining due to the copious amounts of Mhekong she feeds them each night after coming home from her ten hour kitchen shift, a quick shower and back on her precious scooter touring nighttime Pattaya for h*rny Farang males, poking her nose at Pattaya's tightly brown clad finest which might well earn her a life time membership in some female inmate society some day...
I could go on and on about the negatives of this weird Asain existence but suffice it to say that on some crazy basic level I have come to see it all as attractions in their own right, reasons to take up permanent residence
Friday, February 1, 2013
Entertainment free of charge
Pattaya, 01 Febr. 2013.
Both Dikke Joop and Hubert De Belique are holding their massive bellies laughing, uncontrollable shakes making their rolls of fat trembling, I wanna hide under the table down here in Soi Yamato, out of pure embarrasment, in the foyer of that number one shorttime hotel in all of this Sodom and Gomorra place officially called Pattaya, only Papa Emiel, aka known as De Droogpruim, holds his cool looking up at this poor Indian sex tourist who just saw his lady choice of the night, who by the way was a one hundert percent Bona Fide real Kathoey which only adds to the fun but not for poor Mister Hindu, run away with a purple 500 Baht note walking down to the Seven/11 to buy bad quality rubbers, indignantly informing us stupid Indian man forget condom, clickety clack her/his high heels go never to be seen again, no condoms and no shorttime...
"You think lady come back, sir?" Mister Hindu wants to know, "You wait and see, my friend" Papa Emiel tells him cool as hell frozen over...it is business as usual here for these old geezers and most likely they will all be over to Pattaya Walking Street, hop into a Go Go Bar and Watch Snatch as they call it, cheap entertainment for the prise of a cold Chang...
My own entertainment goes cheap too these days with Miss Superboob wanting Pas De Break-up even though I hide out here in this dump in the company of old hands and having switched off my cell, I have a strong suspicion she will be waiting in front of the New Star, taking care of that big bag of Leo, maybe a big bottle of Mhekong if their is some of that amber colored stuff left over after feeding her poor gold fish, Pla needs entertainment too after all, never mind they will soon enough end up floating belly-up, enjoying the merits of the fish Kingdom-Come after a life time of alcohol poisoning ...
Maybe I should tell her about my little dinner with Miss Endu and all that came with it, massage in my room and more of that, Miss Endu who wanted to pay for my sea food soup and the small Leo in the room, showing me the bank draft with 1250 Canadian dollars on it printed in bold letters, money Pas De Problem here again - why in Lord Buddha's name does she ply the beach when she has that sort of Canadian dough coming in every fortnight, but then I have given up trying to comprehend the Thai way...
My entertainment comes free of charge where that of Mister Stupid Hindu Man costs and costs but Nada in return...
Both Dikke Joop and Hubert De Belique are holding their massive bellies laughing, uncontrollable shakes making their rolls of fat trembling, I wanna hide under the table down here in Soi Yamato, out of pure embarrasment, in the foyer of that number one shorttime hotel in all of this Sodom and Gomorra place officially called Pattaya, only Papa Emiel, aka known as De Droogpruim, holds his cool looking up at this poor Indian sex tourist who just saw his lady choice of the night, who by the way was a one hundert percent Bona Fide real Kathoey which only adds to the fun but not for poor Mister Hindu, run away with a purple 500 Baht note walking down to the Seven/11 to buy bad quality rubbers, indignantly informing us stupid Indian man forget condom, clickety clack her/his high heels go never to be seen again, no condoms and no shorttime...
"You think lady come back, sir?" Mister Hindu wants to know, "You wait and see, my friend" Papa Emiel tells him cool as hell frozen over...it is business as usual here for these old geezers and most likely they will all be over to Pattaya Walking Street, hop into a Go Go Bar and Watch Snatch as they call it, cheap entertainment for the prise of a cold Chang...
My own entertainment goes cheap too these days with Miss Superboob wanting Pas De Break-up even though I hide out here in this dump in the company of old hands and having switched off my cell, I have a strong suspicion she will be waiting in front of the New Star, taking care of that big bag of Leo, maybe a big bottle of Mhekong if their is some of that amber colored stuff left over after feeding her poor gold fish, Pla needs entertainment too after all, never mind they will soon enough end up floating belly-up, enjoying the merits of the fish Kingdom-Come after a life time of alcohol poisoning ...
Maybe I should tell her about my little dinner with Miss Endu and all that came with it, massage in my room and more of that, Miss Endu who wanted to pay for my sea food soup and the small Leo in the room, showing me the bank draft with 1250 Canadian dollars on it printed in bold letters, money Pas De Problem here again - why in Lord Buddha's name does she ply the beach when she has that sort of Canadian dough coming in every fortnight, but then I have given up trying to comprehend the Thai way...
My entertainment comes free of charge where that of Mister Stupid Hindu Man costs and costs but Nada in return...
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