thank you Lady Fortuna

Amsterdam,

I hear the alarm of my mobile phone desprately trying to get me out of Lord Morpheus arms, the warmth of my bed is irresistable though it would have been even better had there been a warm female body to wake up to.

Still, my social duty, my volunteer job at the animal farm, my twice a week security of my social wellfare is calling out loudly to me in the form of a rooster`s cry.....cocorico, cocorico, cocorico.....from my phone.

D*rned, it`s just the waking up that is difficult, the work is easy and enjoyable enough. Never thought that I would end up as an animal caretaker.

I always thought I would find my ultimate demise somewhere far away, in some god forsaken third world nation, in an impoveriched country where they quite happily slash your throat for a few miserable american green backs. I was sure for many years I would probably find my death at the hands of money hungry thugs who hate my white skin but lover the color of my foreign currency.
Or else die in a traffic accident on a badly mantained road, travelling by local chicken bus, get knocked down by a drunk truck driver while being on one of my cycle trips in Mexico, the States or here in Europe.
Drown in azure blue oceans while scuba diving. Find my absolute oblivion being sick as a lost stray dog that roams the shanty towns of India and nobody cares a rat`s about.
Or else get knifed in my sleep by one of these hunderts of prostitutes I took back to dirty cockroach invested hotel rooms all over the place. A night of pleasure that would cost more as my drunk mind at first suspected. An miserable female human creature intended on more money as I would pay her in exchange for sexual services.

Well, I could go on, rave a bit more but in the end it all comes down to the same.....it never did happen though there have been many very narrow escapes...Lady Fortuna was always on my side guiding me through the world`s nastiet bars, helping me to fight off cut-throats and man hating putazos, checking on my health and helping me back from total mental insanity after yet again another period of addiction to mind enhancing goodies, after yet again hanging out with the weirdos and drop-outs of this globe.....STOP RAVING HANS.....I`ve a house and a good income, thank you Lady Fortuna for being on my side.

Now help me once again please when to night I`ll hit the tourist bars again on a sex driven quest for female companionship, some hot chick keen on a night of passion with a local dutch man.
Don`t worry foreign backpack lady, I`ll happily comply.