Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Concept Of FRIENDS.

Amsterdam.

FRIENDS ARE LIKE BIRDS, THEY WILL FLY AWAY WHEN IT GETS COLD...

WANNA SEE A REAL FRIEND...LOOK INTO THE MIRROR AND HOPE FOR THE BEST.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Henk`s Crazy Death

Amsterdam,

Por el amor di Dios mas poderoso it seems only days ago I was blogging about the Old Man across the road, the man with the fatty dog and its spiderly legs looking so grotesquely on that overweight little mongrel that enjoyed sitting in front of the window in his master`s lap hoping for another free bon-bon, more cause for a primal canine death....

Yeah blogging about Lady Death in my blog can never been a good omen....nor good fortune.

But I have to get there again when today I found out about Henk Koch`s early demise...A big heavy set jew dark haired with a several day`s old blue/grayish colored shadow of bearth tumbles on his chubby face, who always remembered me of the Two Detectives in the comic hero called Thin-Thin, he even had a twin brother looking pretty much alike!!!

Now Henk was maybe the biggest junk in Amsterdam but somehow managed to always keep the other side of his life in perfect order like paying his rent and water bills, his electricity, that sort of thing...but apoart from that he was always drunk as a skunk, doped up while drinking beer with the Westerpark Brotherhoop of Drunks, talking nonesence and staggering home late afternoon to smoke more horse...Yeah that was his junkie life..but then he kept his house, big and spacious, in picobelo state...though he did have problems with the neighbors that eventually forced him to move out to a new place somewhere in south way out of town, convinced that he would be back to the Westerpark every day to booze....

Well, no more, as a matter of fact he has been notoriously absent for quite some time now.......

Today the bad news broke, he has been found by his twin brother not drunk as a skunk but as death as a traffic accident bestricken skunk, most likely he ODed on horse...I can see him in myind`s eye staggering around his emulously clean appartment, his rotten liver flooded with hard booze, his over-used lungs heaving making breathing a torture, his bowels erupting filling his pants with an evil smelling watery black Alcoholic`s Dirrhea...his last sensations in his Crazy Life the rasping of his own tortured breathing and the foul smell of his owm bowels...no time left for last thoughts but an ever stronger cold invading your worn-out body....your miserable Death just as Crazy as your whole long Crazy Excistence on this otherwise beautifull planet....you should have gone out and take a look, Henk, take it from me....

Adios Henk and thanks for showing me your great house...oh yeah and thanks a zillion times for beating the crap out of Shawn The Free loader, that was fun, I liked it!!!

If there is a special heaven for Professional Drunks, Crack-Heads, Dope Abusers and Horse Smokers....I`m sure you`ll fit it just right, mate!!!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

The Old Man and his dog

Amsterdam,

Still half asleep and putting the kettle on the fire to boil water for coffee, a peek out of my window down to the street below, for a moment I hestitate than I see what I have bewen expected to see since late last year...

When I moved into this house in the summer of 1995 one of the first neighbors I got to meet was the old man across the road, skinny frame and a parchment yellowish skin color looking sickly and spending most of his time behind the proverbial geranium flowers scanning the going-ons in the street from his small first floor appartment that he shared with his aling wife who hardly ever could be seen outside the house.

Both of them old and suffering from a broad spectre of old people`s ailments waiting for the bony hands old Lady Death to stretch her all-encompassing embrace upon them.

The old man`s one and only friend - apart from his wife of course - was his little mongrel, fat from too much inactivity but in the possession of thin dog`s legs who would never get further away than the corner of the street during its many walks with his master, the old man across the road.

Apart from frequent shorttime excursions out of the house this fatty to the max dog would spent the other part of his canine life sitting on the old man`s legs looking out at the world below....

Late last summer bad luck befell the old man breaking his hip and being send to a care centre for the old, his wife being carried down and placed inside a coffin a few weeks later. The old man couldn`t even get to the funeral because of his broken hip.....

....This morning the old man`s appartment was empty, no more furniture inside or whitherred away plants on his balcony, curtains taken down and the appartment stripped of all his personal belongings....later during the day another neighbor told me he died recently in his care centre while he was asleep.

Are you reading me?

Another anonymous message by the Amsterdam street artist called Laser 3.14

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The alcoholic soap continueing!!!

I find myself back in Westerpark after a night out in the city hitting the tourist bars in the Warmousstraat looking for backpack ladies in the mood for a short fling with a local male, no much success though, just waking up alone, late and with a hang-over from too much Red Wine.

Jeeesus, it seems like years ago since last I drank cheap supermarket beer on a bench in the park, not that I`m sitting with the Brotherhood of Westerpark Drunks though I`m in the company of Rob and Richard The Little Shit whose left eye is swollen and sporting all the colors of the rainbow. He has done his nick some real good honor no doubt having been fighting again.

My free beer has to be paid for in some way if not in Euros so they excitedly tell me all the street stories again, How Ramon aka Demon keeps squatting that junkie house again and again being kicked out again the next day by the coppers...

Like I didn`t know that, Mister Hans van Rent, the neighborhood`s cop for that district was at the Anne Frank House last sunday asking me "what can I do, every time I kick these weasels out and I turn my ass they are back inside?".
With me asking him "inside were, your ass?".
He didn`t like the joke, "no inside that house dammed, you know these people, can`t you tell me what to do?"
"Maybe you should lock them up". Hehehehe.

Apparently Ramon - or should I stick to his nick Demon? - also got his girlfriend pregnant.....this fat and ugly Westerpark coke addict called Marisca...she pregnant? She does nothing but smoke tabacco, soft drugs and balls of coke, drinks luke warm beer all day in the park and will have a piss right there on the spot just lowering her dirty pants in full view of whoever happens to be around....and that THING is pregnant?????

God save her child!!!!

The alcoholic soap in Westerpark is definitely continueing!!!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Ramon aka Demon


Amsterdam,

I`ve done good again at the Anne Frank House, my luck seems to know no bounds these days, better stay calm and don`t question Lady Fortuna`s obsession with crazy me!!!

Things similar to this are going through my head while I park my crappy old bicycle outside the De Tweede Mijl, a homeless centre here in Amsterdam, ready to enjoy a bowl of free soup courtesy of the Sisters of Mercy, when I spot Ramon aka Demon because of his loud and rowdy behaviour, Mister Number One Freeloader who got evicted last week from Mien´s house, Mien is in jail now for murder and the whole clan of coke junkies has been kicked out by the Amsterdam police with Ramon taking the place over again the moment the police retreated back to the station for a well-deserved cup of Java.

´Waarom helpt dan niemand me, verdomme`, like anybody wants to help this hyperactive drug abusing freeloader, stupid like a blind ass, a young bloke still whose teeth are already black rotting stumps inside his month cavity due to his excessive coke smoking, an alcoholic mother who spend most of her time on a bench in Westerpark drinking cheap luke-warm beer who told me once she is quite happy to sell her dirty and to stale piss smelling snatch for 40 Euros - no wonder Ramon ended up as a freeloader, a coke smoker and alcoholic, I mean with a Mum like that.......

I can still here Mister Freeloader King aka Demon screaming outside, his shrill voice ringing in my ears while I enjoy my cup of free soup.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

A small gift from the Amsterdam police


Amsterdam,

This card is a small free gift from the Amsterdam police and the general idea is that I hand them out to my customers at the Anne Frank House. Zakkenrollers winkelem ook, Dutch for "pick-pockets shop too", or maybe I should translate it as "pick-pockets shoplift too"!!!

Not many tourists in Amsterdam, I prewsume the world wide credit crises is hitting the tourism industry as well, hard and furious, airplane half empty, hotels with a fair number of unbooked rooms, restaurants with no customers but my little one-man Mandala business is still going strong with another 18 games sold today, just a few relaxing hours in the sun and another 85 Euro filling my already well-filled wallet.